Entertainment

Let's Play The Kim Kardashian Game!

by Mallory Schlossberg

As we all know, Kim Kardashian is the ultimate career woman. She makes reality television shows, marries superstar rappers, makes sex tapes with brothers of former R&B queens, designs children's clothes, and now, ladies and gentlemen, she is making a Kim Kardashian game. Before you make the biggest eye roll you've ever made in your entire life, I'll say it for the rest of us.

The FUCK!?

A Kim Kardashian game? Like, a video game, or a board game with little cut-out chips and Monopoly money — or Monopoly bling, sorry. (And hey, "bling" is a fair assumption, her ring from Kanye is like the size of my head). Judging by what she posted on her Instagram account, it looks like said game will be a video game starring a cartoon, pixelated Kim. Your guess is as good as mine as to what one could actually do in a Kim Kardashian game, so I figure it's fair to at least try to imagine what one might encounter if one was to play this game.

  • You lose a life when you make a sex tape with Ray J.
  • You gain a life when you give birth to North West (because, literally, you've gained a human life in your hands. RESPONSIBILITY).
  • Coins? Ha! Everything is measured in diamonds.
  • The entire soundtrack is Kanye West's music, but in 8-bit.
  • You have to workout to gain strength points, but if you work out too much, you lose your most valuable asset (your ass). BUT! You can trade in your ass for more diamonds at any point if you're running out of shopping money, and you need shopping money to win the game.
  • A level in which you have to decipher if you're on camera or not.

Sounds a lot less fun than Mario Kart if you ask me, but some folks must really want to take a walk in an avatar of Kim's stiletto shoes. And soon, they just might have that chance.

Image: Instagram