You would hope that, after the spectacle of Lindsay Lohan's canceled OWN "docu-series," she would spend a year or two in semi-privacy, enjoying her recovery and distancing herself from the toxic people in her life. Well, Lohan has decided to prove us wrong, and her next stop will be the stages of the West End. In her few months of relative obscurity, she has moved to London and now Lindsay Lohan is after a role in the West End production of Speed-the-Plow. Although the role has not been confirmed, Lohan seems to be using headlines to sway any uneasy directors, since her move to London and interest in the part have been well-publicized. The rumor has even popped up on Broadway.com next to an ad for Kinky Boots' six Tony Awards.
It has already been assumed that Lindsay is being considered for the role of Karen, a secretary who seduces her movie-producer boss into taking a creative risk by pitching a new and different film to his studio. The role was previously held by Madonna in the original 1988 production and now LiLo feels she can fill Madonna's rhinestone shoes. But why should her stage-acting career end in London's West End? Here are the seven Broadway roles Lindsay would be great in on this side of the pond.
One of the puppet operators in The Lion King
As she learned with Oprah, LiLo sometimes has to humble herself and do things "normal" people would do, like show up to shoots on time or operate a giant puppet. Plus, who wouldn't love the reality mini-series about Lindsay learning to operate a 7-foot-tall giraffe puppet?
Ali in a Stage Adaptation of Burlesque
Even though Burlesque was a mediocre musical at best, it was the relaunching point for Christina Aguilera's career. It was only after its release in 2010 that Christina landed her lucrative coaching gig on The Voice, where she's been shining ever since. If she brushed up on her singing and dancing, LiLo might be able to capture some of its magic on stage. We know from The Canyons that she could navigate the slightly-stilted dialogue and sexytimes with ease.
Ulla Inga tor Hansen Benson Yansen Tallen Hallen Svaden Swanson Bloom in The Producers
Although some may think Ulla is a role reserved for Uma Thurman and Lee Meredith, I think Lindsay could excise the naiveté from Ulla's character, replacing it with grit and raw sexual power. It might be a disaster, but maybe LiLo would surprise everyone by making Ulla into a more complex character.
Sheila in Hair
Yes, this might be type-casting Lindsay slightly, but Lindsay has the real-world knowledge of addiction to make Sheila in Hair convincing. Since she's already gotten naked in The Canyons, the nude scene isn't a huge stretch, and she would bring a revival of this classic back down to earth.
Regina's "Cool Mom" in a Stage Adaptation of Mean Girls
She's already had a crack at Cady, so perhaps it's time to see Lindsay take on a more mature role as a trophy-wife mother of a difficult teenager. Regardless of how she's cast, though, Mean Girls: The Musical would be the best.
One of the Female Prisoners in Chicago
I don't hold any illusions that LiLo could handle Roxy Hart, but I'd still love to see her work it in "Cell Block Tango." Therefore, she could easily be cast as one of the "girls" of the prison, and I'd love to see her do the "pop" part.
The Man in Rent
This may be a stretch, but I think LiLo could make a killer fictional drug dealer. Although The Man is usually a stereotypical tough-guy drug dealer, he might be more interesting reimagined as a petite starlet.
Of course, before any of this happens, we have to first see if Lohan lands her Speed-the-Plow role. First she'll take the West End, then she'll try her best for a Tony.