Kanye West's Instagram Redesign Would Definitely Include These 6 Filters
Do you think that Instagram could be bigger, better, faster, stronger? Well, Kanye West does because it took himself and Kim Kardashian four days to edit one of their wedding photos before it was Instagram ready. Alright, that's not exactly why, but it seems like too much of a coincidence that just after he made his photo editing confession while speaking at the 2014 Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity, Kanye West revealed he wants to "clean up" Instagram. And apparently, he's already shared his view with Instagram CEO Kevin Systrom. So what would we get in a Yeezus-approved Instagram?
West admitted earlier this week that he spent four days editing the Kimye kiss picture seen 'round the world so that it would look exactly like an Annie Leibovitz photo. This doesn't necessarily speak to any problems with Instagram, but he still thinks that the popular photo-sharing app needs some work. According to West, he asked Systrom:
Why don't you let us redo Instagram? Now, you know, Instagram is nice. It's nice looking — I'm not knocking it. But in general, everyone spends all of their time looking at their screens or their phones.
Why can't you just "redo Instagram," Kanye? Oh, I don't know — BECAUSE YOU'RE A RAPPER AND NOT A TECHIE? The 37-year-old Yeezus rapper continued, "just as a simple task, we could clean that up," but didn't offer a real solution to Instagram's problem. I mean, I'm not surprised — Kanye West has a stranglehold on the fashion world and now he wants to break into app production as well. So, naturally, I got to wondering what exactly a Yeezy redesign would be and, based on his four-day editing session, I've got an idea.
Here are 6 filters that West would introduce in his "cleaned up" version of Instagram:
The "I Am Yeezus" Filter
A smart-filter that illuminates the individual in the photo to a god-like capacity — almost as if you were wearing Kardashian Beauty Khroma Intimate Spotlight Illuminator, but better.
The "Flowers" Filter
Because when he and Kim were editing their first Instagram wedding photo, it would've taken a lot less than four days to get the colors of each individual flower on the flower walls just right.
The "Annie Leibovitz Is A Flake" Filter
Again, maybe it wouldn't have taken Kimye FOUR DAYS to edit their kissing photo if Instagram had a cure-all filter that would make even the most amateur photos look like they were taken by the famed photographer.
The "Red Octobers" Filter
Who doesn't want their photo to look like it's basking in the glow of a perfectly orange-y red pair of Yeezy Red Octobers, right?
The "Uh huh, Honey" Filter
Is your naturally occurring sunset photo not going to get a solid 50 likes? Well, you're in luck! The "Uh huh, Honey" filter will turn your lackluster sunset into a glorious recreation of the "Bound 2" music video's sky. (Not recommended for use on photos of human beings.)
The "I'm Fire" Filter
Want to look just like Kanye in his Interview cover photo? This filter will make it look like you poured barbecue sauce all over your face, causing your skin to get the shiny, deep reddish tint of spare ribs from your local Chinese restaurant.
You can't wait until these become available, can you? Unfortunately (mostly for Kanye) that will likely never happen. You'll just have to do your best with good old "Valencia" and "Nashville."