What If 'Real Housewives of Orange County's Vicki Gunvalson Was On Tinder?
Tinder: Everyone's doing it. And now that she’s reportedly dating around, it seems as good a time as any for Real Housewives of Orange County OG Housewife Vicki Gunvalson to sign up for the insta-date app. I’m willing to bet she’d be down to talk about her Tinder adventures on the reality show. She might even hold up her Tinder app and swipe for the cameras to see. And she wouldn't swipe left and leave it at that. She'd talk so much smack as she deliberately dragged her finger across the screen. It would make for divine reality television.
She'd swipe right from time to time, sure, but she'd be very picky. She'd conduct background checks and— HOLD UP. What if someone catfished her? WHAT IF VICKI WOUND UP ON CATFISH BECAUSE OF TINDER? AUGHHHHHH WHAT A CROSSOVER. Getting carried way. Must take deep breaths.
What would Vicki’s hypothetical Tinder profile be like? As far as I'm concerned, she could have one IRL, but I can't find it. (You caught me. I didn't actually look for it. Sorry.)
Therefore, I took it upon myself to dream up a fictional Vicki Tinder profile. Of course I did. We already created fake Tinder profiles for Frozen' s Elsa and Game of Thrones ’ Jon Snow, so why stop at fictional characters? Reality TV stars need Tinder love, too!
Without further ado, I present you with a very fake Tinder profile for Vicki:
Yeah, she could use a Bravo promotional photo, but she wouldn't want to attract hangers-on. She'd want someone who likes her for her, not for her Real Housewives pedigree.
This selfie is a nice option:
Her hair looks great, those necklaces are fun, and she appears to be glowing.
Perhaps she'd prefer to use a non-selfie. That's a-ok, her prerogative, et cetera. This pic would be a good pick:
Fresh to death.
"Always ready to whoop it up! WOO HOO!"
Keep it simple. Our Vicki just wants to have a good time, you know? No need to write a dissertation. But if she's feeling extra flirty:
"My love tank is empty and I want to move the needle to 'FULL.'"
Slade Smiley, Real Housewives of Orange County
Slade and Vicki would swipe right with the intent to harass one another. Of course they wouldn't go out on a date. The couldn't go out on a date. The planet would implode.
Paul Nassif, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
No, I'm not making a joke about plastic surgery. Tsk tsk. Vicki would be attracted to Paul's work ethic and Paul would like Vicki's sense of humor.
Bonus: Paul and Terry Dubrow run in the same circles. Vicki, Heather Dubrow, Terry, and Paul could double date!
Brooks Ayers, Real Housewives of Orange County
Images: vickigunvalson/Instagram (2); realitytvgifs/tumblr; Bravo