Alex Vause Is Jesus & Piper Is Her Disciple

With all of Pennsatucky's Jesus jabbering, you would think we'd have a Last Supper at Litchfield parody making its way around the Internet by now. While we have yet to see the cafeteria at the ladies' low-security penitentiary morph into a stage-friendly image with a table facing us, we do have this image of the Orange Is The New Black characters as Jesus, his disciples, and angelic on-lookers. But all you secular fans shouldn't worry, the picture isn't dogmatically preachy — it's the Internet, after all, and each character has something to say in LOL-cat speech. Further, their words are written in comic sans, if that means anything to you. (It should. It's the font of your childhood.)

Anyhow, we have Alex Vause in the starring role as Jesus, and Piper is, of course, desperately trying to obtain her love. No matter how much Piper insists that she l-u-v-s Larry, we know a few things: 1.) she will do anything for Alex, 2.) She doesn't know what the hell she wants, 3.) LARRY SUCKS. But regardless of Piper's emotional waywardness, this picture also has some of the other main fixtures at Litchfield, Pornstache included (YES!). Of course, Pennsatucky is looming in the background, ready to "heal" these women.

Take a look, and don't worry — no one's expecting you to wax philosophical over this. Just enjoy this example of Internet arts and crafts, and try to forget how long the wait is until Season 3.

Images: Netflix; Imgur