Shark Week drinking games have been a thing since Shark Week's premiere week in 1987, and each year they get heavier, more intense, and harder to top. How else is one supposed to get through an entire week of gore, sharks, and more gore without a little tipple here and there? I mean, there are only so many horrifying shark-related gouges, gashes and bite marks we can look at before wanting to chug a bottle of whatever is nearest while crying and clutching our limbs. Hence Shark Week drinking games.
Although the Bro Bible's classic Shark Week drinking game is, of course, reigning king of getting us all Shark Week Shwasted, I'm here to propose some updates, bringing Shark Week drinking to a new high in 2013. If you barely survived the last two Shark Weeks, gird your liver because this just got intense. This drinking game is involved, multi-faceted, and just might change your life, so get your ingredients ready and let's get started. Play in a safe place, don't wear white, and you better hide yo fish, hide yo wife, 'cause we're gettin' Shark Week Shwasted up in here.
1) Bloody Mary
3) Gosling's Black Seal Rum
4) A Shot Glass
5) A Pint Glass
1) Every time a shark takes a bite out of a human, take a sip of Bloody Mary.
2) Every time they use chum, every one has to yell "Chum Slick" and take a sip of Bloody Mary. Last person to yell it has to down their Bloody Mary.
3) Every time you confuse an Australian accent for a South African one, take a sip of beer.
4) Every time you confuse a South African accent for an Australian one, take a sip of beer.
5) Every time someone tells the story of how they lost a limb to sharks, down your pint of beer before they finish telling it. Anyone who goes over time has to take a sip of their Bloody Mary.
6) Every time a shark bites the seal decoy, yell "ARF!" and do a shot of Black Seal rum.
7) Every time a shark eats a seal, take a shot of Black Seal rum without using your arms, while flapping your arms like a seal. Anyone who spills has to take a sip of beer.
8) Every time they show a shark 15 feet or longer, link arms with your fellow players and drink from the beer glass to your right, down the pint. Anyone who fails or spills has to stand on the table and down a Bloody Mary while the other players circle, singing the theme song to "Jaws."
9) Whenever there is a death by shark, take a shot of rum.
10) Every time a shark eats a bird, take a sip from all three drinks.
Good luck, Shark Week Champions, and may the odds be ever in your favor.