On Friday, Jezebel reported on a video captured during the Super Party Dance Show at Disney World, featuring characters from The Incredibles. The video shows what starts off like any other live Disney show: a dorky but endearing host announces the start of the performance, excites the crowd, and introduces the actor playing Elastigirl, who makes her entrance. And then Elastigirl's face falls off. It appears the performer tripped and fell while making their way onto the stage, which threw off the costume face mask. The announcer quickly ushers Elastigirl offstage, but not before kids' childhoods were ruined and illusions were shattered. Poor things. But better to have their Disney fantasies destroyed sooner rather than later.
As this video shows us, under every Elastigirl, there's the bald head of a man who is definitely not the real deal. So many of the Disney classics we loved as a kid are actually incredibly disturbing, or have the potential to be extremely unsettling as proved by #DepressingDisney. I hate to be the bearer of bad news (not really) but I think it's time we revisited some beloved Disney classics that may or may not ruin your childhood forever. You may never be the same. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!
The Little Mermaid
In the original story, the Little Mermaid doesn't get the guy in the end, and she kills herself. So. There's that.
The Disney version shows us Pinocchio's weird nightmare of wage slavery, an abusive relationship with Lampwick, gambling and underage drinking, but the original is even worse: a school of fish eat Pinocchio alive. WHAT.
The Jungle Book
Old Yeller has to be put down because he has rabies. Sorry to be the one to tell you.
The Fox And The Hound
Again, everyone dies.
You have to be awake to give consent, FYI.
The Lion King
Umm, Nala and Simba might have the same dad? Think about it.
Cruella DeVille is a crazy weirdo who wants to skin a bunch of innocent puppies and wear them as fur. Yikes.
This movie is all fine and great except COLONIALISM. See also: HISTORY.
Bambi is a cautionary tale about how HORRIBLE humans are and about the importance of wildlife conservation. The more you know.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
When you really break this one down, Quasi Modo is a guy who is needlessly ostracized for having a physical deformity who's enslaved by a religious guy who feels conflicted by his rapey fantasies about a stripper. You're welcome.
Check out the video here: