So... His Letter Is Online Now

If you saw Monday night's Bachelorette finale, you know that there is quite a lot of tension between Andi Dorfman and Nick Viall. We all saw Andi break Nick's heart before the final rose ceremony, and then on the "After the Final Rose" special, Nick and Andi got to talk on live TV and that really didn't go well. But what's strange about this show, is that the entire thing wrapped filming long before the finale and the live after show aired. In this case, that means that there were other opportunities for Nick to try to contact Andi. Nick tried to reach Andi via a letter which, as we found out last night, was hand-delivered to her by Chris Harrison during the "Men Tell All" special. Say whaaat?! This show is supposed to take place outside of real life! All this stuff about a kicked off contestant trying to speak to the bachelorette outside of the show and the whole real-heartbreak-that-is-actually-painful-to-watch thing is really not part of the deal.

Now, the show is really existing outside of itself and I'm not just referring to Andi's relationship with Josh "Really? Him?" Murray. Nick's letter in its entirety has been posted to The Bachelorette's official Facebook page. What's going on here? Why would this ever happen? Did Andi give the letter to The Bachelorette's official Facebook official? Did Nick have a copy of the letter that he gave to producers? Or did a super savvy camera operator take a quick shot of it when no one was looking?

Well, its not 100 percent clear, but it sounds like Andi was the one to free the letter. Nick spoke with Us Weekly and said, "I was in no way ashamed of what was in that letter" and about the letter appearing publicly explained, "I knew by giving it to her, that was a possibility and I accepted that." He knew it appearing on Facebook for the world to see was a possibility?! Jeez.

Because I know you're going to find a way to strangle me if I don't tell you what the letter actually says, here are some excerpts. (It's long, y'all. But if you want, you can read it in it's entirety here.)

Andi,You lit me up. You made me feel those things that people go a lifetime to find, and I feel like I made you feel the same. I truly hoped we would have made it into the real world, where there would be no arbitrary dead-line, where those stresses that came with that environment would have melted away, where we could have had the goofy, fun, exciting relationship that I know we could have. What we had was real to me, and it was amazing.

Well, none of that is surprising. This is exactly what he's said all along. It was clear on the finale special that Nick was still completely torn up about breaking up with Andi. And that Andi had totally moved on and was really overjoyed (so much so that much of Bachelor Nation cringed) to be with Josh.

That is one thing that has bothered me the most — when you said you know you could have a good life with me, you just don’t think you could have a great one. The thing is, if you were to go back and think of every moment that we spent together, the first time we met, our first date, our “wow” moment in New England, our time in France, everything about Venice, our walk in Belgium, that moment in the monastery, the first time I told you I loved you and everything about that day and night, and the adjectives to describe those moments, many words come to mind. Words like exciting, passionate, intense, tingling, romantic, sexy, easy, and great. You could even say scary, nerve-racking, frustrating, and challenging. You could say all of these are words you could use to describe us, but I doubt very much you would think of those moments and the word "good" would ever come to mind.

This part hit me hard, guys. She basically told him he was too boring and he's like, "Dude, we travelled the world together and you said ALL THE TIME that my kisses were insanely passionate. What gives?"

Nick ended by saying,

I realize I have to move on and I mean it when I say that if you’re truly happy with your decision and I haven’t been a thought on your mind, then I want that happiness to continue for you. If I have to move on, I will look to find amazing with someone else know that some day I will. I just know I would much rather turn my life upside down and risk it all to have amazing with you.

It really is sad. And it really is strange that it's on The Bachelorette's Facebook. The show is over everyone. Now we're just left with a reasonably bummed out dude (the live TV sex reveal was not exactly reasonable, don't get me wrong) and a woman who is in a happy relationship. Andi and Nick aren't happening. Andi knows it, Nick probably knows it now, and the viewers know it. The personal letter reveal didn't need to be part of this. As hard as it is for all of us, it's time to move on.

Images: ABC