Tara Reid's New Perfume is Called "Shark," Smells Like Lavender

Still reeling from the news that a Sharknado could happen in real life? Looking for a new way to showcase your undying love for the movie franchise? Tara Reid's "Shark" perfume is here to help! I repeat: Tara Reid has produced a perfume entitled Shark by Tara. This is not a drill.

As the star of Sharknado and Sharknado 2, who better to provide consumers with the shark-scented fragrance we've been waiting for all our lives? This concept is so laughable that it almost seems fake, but with multiple media outlets reporting on the new business venture, I'm going to operate under the assumption that it's not a hoax.

I'd hoped the perfume would smell like rubbery shark skin and ocean spray, but according to the (very fake-looking) website, that's not what sharks embody at all. Since my paraphrasing won't begin to do it justice, here's the official description of Shark by Tara:

Shark by Tara is a light and refreshing perfume perfect for day-to-day wear. It also incorporates a plethora of "lavender" colored flowers, which is Tara’s favorite color, making them a true fit for Shark by Tara.
Shark by Tara perfume is a complex scent with three different levels of nodes that embrace our fresh, light, and fun feel. Our top-level node is clad with iced mint, violetand lemon, while our middle node is complete with jasmine, tuberose andmuguet. The last dry node is cool blue rose, amber and musk.

You can't make this stuff up... or can you? The mastermind behind Shark by Tara, whoever he or she might be, is a marketing genius. This is Tara Reid's ticket to the A-list, I swear.

Interested in obtaining a bottle of lavender Shark by Tara for yourself? They cost a reasonable $24.95 and are available online at tarareid.com.

Cue Jaws theme music.

Image: Tara Reid