11 Things You Should Never, Ever Say To A Diehard 'The Fault In Our Stars' Fan

John Green and his legions of loyal fans, aka Nerdfighters, are having their moment — so, naturally, there are people trying to bring us down. The film adaption to Green's best-selling novel, The Fault in Our Stars , premiered back in June and we've been engulfed in our tear-stained blankets since. By choice, obviously, because Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace Lancaster's love story is one for the ages, even if it broke our hearts and made us momentarily proclaim that John Green had ruined our lives.

If you aren't someone that's been lucky enough to be touched by John Green's work or TFiOS, I'm sorry. And you should probably run to your nearest bookstore and buy this book and prepare to have your life changed. No, you're not too old to buy a YA novel (I can hear your inner-dialogue from here). Only after that can you ask me if I feel like I'm too old to be reading this book and sobbing like a baby over Gus proclaiming his love for Hazel in Amsterdam.

While us TFiOS fans are a sensitive bunch, we're not about to take your criticism for having feelings. So, here are 11 things that you should never, under any circumstances, say to a TFiOS fan. Okay? Okay.

"[Insert John Green Novel] Is So Much Better Than TFiOS."

First of all, let's not make John Green novels compete against each other. Each of his books — Paper Towns, Looking For Alaska, An Abundance of Katherines — all stand alone, mostly because they're all brilliant in their own way, and far away from TFiOS. So have some respect.

"TFiOS Movie Was SO Much Better Than The Book."

Some fans would disagree with me here, but the movie is never better than the book. In no circumstances has that ever been true and, while TFiOS movie was great and it had Green's blessing, it's still not as good as the novel. It's just not — even with Ansel Elgort's adorable face attached.

"Aren't You Too Old For TFiOS?"

Aren't you too old to be asking such a rude and ignorant question? There is no age limit on appreciating John Green, so please back away now.

"Do You Think You'll Ever Stop Crying?"

Are you mocking me for having feelings? Because this was a tragic, heartbreaking, and life-changing story to read and see onscreen — I'm sorry that you're a robot and you don't get it.

"Isaac Is Supposed To Have Blonde Hair."

Have you seen Nat Wolff as Isaac in the TFiOS movie, because he's amazing even without floppy, blonde hair. Usually I stand by the assertion that John Green is a brilliant man, but in the case of Isaac, he made a mistake. Nat Wolff is Isaac and Isaac is Nat Wolff. So blonde hair, schmonde hair, I say. Also, there are a significant number of more important details to focus on.

"Why Would You Want To Read/Watch Such A Sad Story?"

Some of Green's critics' biggest issue with TFiOS is that it was "too sad." Well, newsflash, world, sometimes life can be really sad but that doesn't make it any less important or wonderful. Yes, TFiOS is a sad story, but it's also an important story about the immensity of love and life in this world.

"Augustus Waters Is Too Smart."

Green has admitted on multiple occasions that Gus over-reaches his actual intelligence in TFiOS . But, that's okay. Because, like most teenagers, Gus wants to be perceived as this person with a wide intelligence and a philosophical outlook on the world — it's his coping mechanism for the lack of control he has over his disease. If you don't get that, maybe you don't remember what being a teenager is like and I'm sorry about that.

"Is That A Metaphor?"

Stop mocking me.

"I like Peter Van Houten."

Are you a human being? Because Van Houten is the worst.

"What Does 'Okay? Okay.' Even Mean?"

If you really must know (even though you don't deserve to because you haven't read this book or seen this movie), "Okay" is Gus and Hazel's less uncomfortable riff on Monica and Isaac's "Always." #humor #love

"Who's Caroline? I Didn't Know Gus Had An Ex-Girlfriend."

Ugh, we're trying so hard to be benevolent here, and you're forcing me to distinguish between book and movie TFiOS fans. It's still a sore subject that Caroline was cut from the TFiOS movie, even though I can understand the creative decision to not show Hazel perusing Facebook onscreen (because that's boring). But, in the novel, Caroline is an important part of Hazel's revelation that she and Gus shouldn't be together because she's a "grenade" and it was unfortunate that that internal struggle was a casualty of the book-to-screen adaptation process.

Images: 20th Century Fox; simpluxor, thefaultinourstarsmovie, sparkling-insecurities, ohnatwolff, peanutbutterandbananasardines, geekmia, fictionalboy, glueandglitter, uncoveredbylove, theultimatefandomblog, teenage-confessions