Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux's Wedding as Planned by a Fan Without an Invite
Are they getting married now?! Are they? Are they? Is it true?! Calm down there, buddy. Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux might not have a wedding planned per se, but let’s not forget that The Leftovers actor did tell Extra, “We have hot feet, but we’re not going to let you guys know. We’re still happily engaged.” Let’s break that comment down. They have what Theroux calls “hot feet,” which either means he finds their feet attractive or that he and Aniston feel the opposite of nerves when it comes to settling down. Next he says, “we’re not going to let you guys know,” which is pretty self explanatory seeing as this was at a press event. It’s his nice way of telling the media to buzz off. Then he adds, “we’re still happily engaged,” which is what it is, because he and fiancée Aniston have been repeating that line over and over to anyone asking for their wedding date. The only way to make that comment exciting is if he added “...in planning our wedding” or “...in a battle over a photographer" at the end.
That isn’t to say I’m not happy for Aniston and Theroux for suavely dodging those pesky questions about their upcoming nuptials — I'm okay waiting for the invitation in the mail —but it does mean that I'm going to plan it myself, because my Pinterest boards are overflowing with ideas and DIYs already. Would Aniston like a handmade bouquet with cotton along with cabbage roses? Maybe Theroux could sport a wooden bowtie?
Fine, I might be going overboard, but Aniston already said that "a wedding was never planned" when asked if her wedding was off, so what else is a celebrity writer to do, but speculate what her big day could be?
It's Going to Happen Spur-of-the-Moment
Like Mrs. Ross and Mr. Rachel in the Friends episode where they went to Las Vegas, Theroux and Aniston will get married on a day they just happen to feel like getting married. Though, I seriously doubt that they would do it inebriated and with permanent marker drawings on their faces.
Jen's Dress Will Be from Her Own Closet
Everyone knows Aniston is a laid back Cali girl at heart, so it would be pretty fitting if Theroux just showed up in a tie and Aniston grabbed the prettiest white dress hanging in her bedroom closet.
It'll Happen in the Winter
It sounds unlikely, but you should hear me out. I know I said that Aniston's a true Cali girl, so presumably she would have a summer wedding. Wrong. Everyone would expect that, see? So she could get away with a wedding during the winter. This means that she can plan it as a beach getaway, and they can flee to paradise for subsequent anniversaries too. Win-win.
It'll Be a Destination Wedding
Weddings during the winters don't have to be in snow and slush. Aniston and Theroux would totally opt for a destination wedding if they were trying to keep it on the down low, and the best way to do it during a season no one would suspect is to jet set to a remote location. There, no one will hear you say, "I do." Besides, this ensures Aniston gets the low key beach wedding she's made for.
She'll Cry (She'll Also Rock a Floral Headdress)
I can see her doing both of these things. Together
So, what do you think of these ideas, Aniston? Are you and Theroux ready to take your hot feet down the aisle?
We'll just have to see I guess.