Amazon's 5 New Pilots Include Adam Brody's 'Show Name': What to Watch & What to Skip

A new season chock full of pilots is upon us, and Variety reported that Amazon is slated to drop five new pilots for viewers to purchase and stream and then watch their time slowly drip away. Five is quite a number, especially given how Netflix slowly but surely drops digital series — binge watch House of Cards in February, and then lose a week of your life in June with Orange Is The New Black . It's gutsy for Amazon to feel such confidence in five series, but hey, it's Amazon. They're the reason I can order a fish tank and re-usable travel coffee cups at the same time in my sweatpants while drinking wine out of the bottle. #Win. Got your back, Amazon.

And besides, with digital television shows proving themselves to be successful, why not?

But it's important that when you have shows that you can download — and when you have five of them, too — that you know if you should watch them, when you should watch them, and perhaps most importantly, what you should eat when sit down to watch them. Let's take a look at these new series.

The Cosmopolitans

The Gist: Seth Cohen — er, Adam Brody — returns to television in a HEAVILY anticipated comeback. Chloe Sevigny co-stars. The show follows American ex-pats in Paris.

To Binge Watch Or Not To Binge Watch?: How much can Francophilia can you endure? That's up to you. It's also a comedy, so it's unlikely that it'll keep you up til 4 AM a la House of Cards. It's Adam Brody, so of course you should watch it — that should go without saying, really — but it will probably go down more smoothly if you chomp down an episode per night.

What Should You Eat?: Escargot, obvs. Or wine and cheese and grapes, if the thought of consuming snails makes you wanna vom.

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Hysteria

The Gist: Variety reports that this is about a competitive all- girls dance team that gets a craaaaaaaaaazy illness. How does it spread? THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA. DO NOT RETWEET. I repeat — do not retweet. Hide your kids, hide your wi-fi! (Also of note: Entertainment Weekly reported that Mena Suvari of Romy and Michele's High School Reunion will star! The inventor of post-its!)

To Binge Watch Or Not To Binge Watch?: Thrillers are generally the stuff binge-watch dreams are made of. But if the thought of logging into your Facebook account as your mind decomposes hits too close to home, then perhaps it's best to avoid multiple episodes per night. This sounds like it could either be super gimmicky or total shit-your-pants scary stuff.

What Should You Eat?: Your own thoughts. MUAHAHAAH. Fro yo, duh. It's the snack of the social media generation. And watch it melt, along with your mind....

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Red Oaks

The Gist: Variety noted that Steven Soderbergh is producing this David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express) helmed comedy that takes place in 1985 at a country club in suburban New Jersey and follows a tennis player (Craig Roberts). If you're nostalgic for Mad About You, here's somethin' for ya: Paul Reiser stars in it.

To Binge Watch Or Not To Binge Watch: Depends. How much tennis playing at a country club in New Jersey in the '80s can you handle? That's a very specific genre. The team behind this series makes it look like it will be pretty strong, though. Still — bring on the high socks and headbands!

What Should You Eat?: Mussels, white wine, and turkey clubs. Summer, summer, summer time!

Hand of God

The Gist: Ron Perlman of Sons of Anarchy stars as a married guy who practices infidelity with a call girl. APPARENTLY — according to Deadline — there's "a rapist who tore his family apart," so he goes on a mission to seek him out. Emotional and dramatic hijinks ensue, no doubt.

To Binge Watch Or Not To Binge Watch: Sounds like the stuff binge watchable shows are made of.

What Should You Eat?: A box of wheat thins, mindlessly.

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Really

The Gist: Vivian Kensington, I mean, Selma Blair, returns in this show about a bunch of couples in Chicago who are sad that their respective youths are slipping away from them, as it often does when you age. The always awesome Sarah Chalke co-stars.

To Binge Watch Or Not To Binge Watch: I dunno about you, but I don't always seem dead set on binge watching people age. This seems like a good show, no doubt — I could personally handle two or three episodes at a time — but I found two grey hairs yesterday, and I had to listen to some old school Britney Spears to resuscitate my youth.

What Should You Eat?: A domestic chicken dinner with mixed greens because you're aging and take care of yourself, but whiskey out of a mason jar because you're still young AND cool.

So! Prep your snacks, and portion your time wisely. You have shows to watch!