11 Things Not to Say to a Greendale Human Being

Community is the television show version of the Little Engine That Could. It's like lovingly carrying a kitten home in your arms knowing that at any moment it could hiss and bite you. It's like — watching a show that's constantly on the verge of being canceled, basically. With the anthem of six seasons and a movie leading it to pull itself off the chopping block every time we think it's gone for good, Community has been moved from NBC to Yahoo for its sixth season and creator Dan Harmon already has a movie idea in mind that sounds like it's going to be more than satisfying for longtime fans. However, being a Community fan also means that sometimes you're going to have to deal with a lot of abuse, you know, when people actually know what show you're talking about.

Listen, the fact of the matter is that most Community fans don't care what you have to say if it's not "Oh my god, I love that show!" That's true of any fan of anyone or anything, really. We have enough to worry about just trying to keep our show from getting canceled without adding someone else's negativity to the mix. So, really, it's in your best interest that you don't burst a Greendale Human Being's bubble by saying any of these eleven phrases. Not unless you're ready for a fight.

"Does anyone even watch that show?"

Obviously I watch that show. Am I not someone? In fact, you'll be shocked to hear that Community's season 5 finale had had 2.87 million U.S. viewers alone. Duh-doy!

"Community doesn't really have a plot."

The plot is that it follows six people attending community college. What you really mean is that Community has evolved beyond the need for a plot. What you really mean is that Community is like getting to watch a new show and movie every week. What you really mean is you have no idea what you're talking about.

"Community deserves to get canceled."

Wow. No. Bye.

"Community college is nothing like that!"

It's not? I had no idea! And here I thought college was all about apocalyptic paintball games, alternate timelines, and never actually learning anything in class. Then again, I live in New York.

"Jeff belongs with Annie/Britta/the Dean."

This is one of those things that is really going to depend on who you're talking to, but there is nothing that makes a Jeff x Annie fan angrier than hearing you think he belongs with Britta, a Jeff/Britta fan angrier than hearing you think he belongs with Annie, and — well no one cares if you think he belongs with Dean Pelton.

"The show isn't even about shipping."

Shocking. As it turns out, most shows aren't actually about shipping. Somehow, that has never stopped anyone anywhere ever from finding two characters to ship on the show. Don't even bother.

"The show has sucked since Pierce/Troy left."

The writers have done a commendable job keeping the show from declining in quality and/or making the actors' absence any more noticeable than it needs to be, so cut them some slack. It might not be as good as it was in season 2 or 3, but that's the same for most shows that have more than three seasons.

"This show would be so much better without Britta/Chang/the Dean/Jeff."

The strongest part of Community is its ensemble cast. Removing even one of them throws the whole dynamic off, as became very obvious after the departure of Chevy Chase and Donald Glover. You might hate a character, but you'll miss them when they're gone. Trust me.

"I hate all of the main characters."

The Greendale Seven might not be likable people, but that's the whole point. They're all flawed individuals who came together to form a family. If you can't like them individually, at least like them for that.

"Season 4 was the best season of them all."

Season 4? What season 4 are you talking about? You mean the gas leak year?

"I'm so sick of Abed."

As you can see, Abed cares a lot about that.

Image: NBC