Entertainment

The Pape's Best Quotes

Willow Pape. Oh, Willow Pape. (If you would be so kind, please imagine Heath Ledger's Joker muttering the following under his breath as he hijacks a semi truck): Willow, Willow, Willow Pape. The villain of Kim Kardashian: Hollywood is a fame-obsessed, malicious, and unrelenting demon in a skirt. KK:H is lucky to call her its villain.

Patricia Hernandez of Kokatu dubbed The Pape the best game rival since Gary Oak from Pokémon, and I agree 240%. Ugh, freakin' Gary Oak. Every time that Poké-dweeb would interrupt my gameplay and demand a battle, my eyes would turn red and I would groan. NOT NOW, GARY, I would think. CAN'T YOU SEE I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING?

The Pape's timing is very Gary Oak-like (read: inconvenient). Whenever she accosts me just as I'm about to meet a potential collaborator at The Brew Palms or on my way to a fashion show, I groan.

NOT NOW, WILLOW. CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING?

I will say this much: Whenever The Pape rears her blonde head, you can count on her to utter something LOL-worthy. And hey, I like to laugh out loud.

The definitive ranking of Willow Pape's best digs

#11:

Gretchen Wieners couldn't make "fetch" happen, and you definitely can't make "fetch" happen, Pape. Sorry, Pape.

#10:

She was "Anon" all along and she DGAF.

#9:

Ehhh, not your harshest burn, Pape.

#8:

...Who are the "you guys" she's talking to?

#7:

Re: "did Kim mention me yet?": Same.

#6:

So very meta.

#5:

WHOA, did she just call me a bird?!?!?!?!

#4:

When the yellow exclamation point bubble is attached to The Pape, it shoves me to the very edge of my seat. What's she going to say this time?!?!?!

#3:

She'd been saving that one for a while. I can feel it.

#2:

"SO BLEGH!"

#1:

Speaking in hashtags. "Gutter trash." The only thing this diamond is missing is a mic drop.

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