Listen, not everyone along for the ride on this vast, spinning ball that we call Earth has the capacity to be as bubbly and sensitive as New Girl's Jessica Day. She's sweet, she's caring, she has impossibly good front bangs-- she's not exactly an easy act to live up to. But just because you're not like Jess doesn't mean you're necessarily a bad person, right? So, you like to sleep in, you occasionally find yourself grimacing for no apparent reason, you tend to stick to earth tone colors rather than bold prints, and you take comfort in the dim, musty ambiance of your corner bar. That doesn't make you terrible! It just makes you, well, Nick Miller.
Face it, you avoid feelings and emotional intimacy like the plague, you heed your gut's intuition over the logic that your brain is trying to spew, and okay, yeah, bacon is one of your major food groups. But bacon is delicious, so there's that. And hey, Nick has a lot of really good qualities, too, for being a thirty-something year old slacker with questionable hygiene. So, just because Nick is rough around the edges and subsequently, so are you, doesn't mean that there isn't a heart of pure gold stored away in those alcohol coated innards.
If you're still not totally convinced you're a Nick Miller or maybe you're just in denial, take looksie at the following ways you can properly and probably hesitantly identify yourself:
YOU HAVE LEGITIMATELY NO IDEA HOW TO HANDLE EMOTIONS/EMOTIONAL SITUATIONS
So you're just gunna skip on outta there before things get weird...
YOU'RE BLUNT... PAINFULLY SO
Honesty is the best policy, alright?
YOU'RE NEVER QUITE SURE WHEN OR IF YOU'RE UNINTENTIONALLY OFFENDING SOMEONE
But you totally feel bad about it. You really do.
YOU'RE PERPETUALLY BROKE AND IGNORANT OF THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY
Tomato, tom-at-o, either way can you get it with a coupon of some sort?
YOU EXPERIENCE RARE BURSTS OF EMOTIONAL FLUENCY WHEN YOU'RE REALLY DIGGING SOMETHING
And as quickly as it comes it disappears.
TYPICALLY HOW YOU HANDLE FRUSTRATION:
Because your mind can't form coherent sentences.
YOUR MODUS OPERANDI BECAUSE, OKAY, MAYBE LIFE'S JADED YOU A LITTLE
They are. You stand by that.
YOU RESENT THE FACT THAT PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR NON-TRADITIONAL CAREER PATH
You're just doing you. Whatever that is.
FITNESS IS NOT FOR YOU.
Sorry, you enjoy steady breathing.
...NEITHER IS DANCING.
But that ain't stopping you.
MAYBE YOU SOMETIMES AVOID RESPONSIBILITY
You have valid reasons, though.
YOUR EMPHATIC FACIAL EXPRESSIONS MAKE UP FOR YOUR LACK OF VOCAL COMPETANCE
It's all in the eyes.
YOUR CYNICAL VIEW ON LIFE ACTUALLY MAKES YOU A PRETTY DECENT ADVICE-GIVER
Because you're not a downer, you're just real.
Images: FOX; Giphy (14)