Zingbot's 'Big Brother' Zings Totally Put Kathy Griffin's to Shame
It's that time of year again: Zingbot has returned to the Big Brother house. But during Wednesday night's episode, there was something noticeably different about the usually wisecracking robot. Zingbot was... nice. He told the houseguests they all looked great in person and even complimented Donny saying, "I love your beard, but i wish it didn't cover your handsome face." Awww, Zingbot. You're too kind.
It turns out Zingbot had malfunctioned and was more a props-bot at the moment. Luckily, comic Kathy Griffin, who never met a person she couldn't insult, was there for a "Zingtervention" for Zingbot and also had some time to offend the houseguests in Zingbot's time of need. Here's what Griffin said.
"Caleb, you and Amber have something in common. You think she's drop-dead gorgeous, and she wants you to drop dead."
Talk about saying what we're all thinking.
"Christine, there's a belief that glasses make people look smarter. Thanks for disproving that."
Ouch. And she's trying so hard to be the mastermind of the house, too.
"Victoria, I would zing you, but i'm only supposed to zing people who are actually playing the game."
Coupled with the fact that Victoria didn't even understand how she wasn't playing the game since she's on the show, this statement was completely accurate.
"What do you call someone who's not afraid to cry, wears pink, and cuddles with men? You call them Zach."
I knew this was where this zing was going, and I still lol'ed.
During the Power of Veto competition, the houseguests had to get down and dirty and do some heavy electrical work to get Zingbot up and running again. Frankie won and restored Zingbot to his former glory. And boy, did Frankie really awaken the beast. Here's what Zingbot said once he was back to normal:
"Frankie, that's a nice tan, but I'm surprised you get any sun at all considering how much time you spend in your sister's shadow. Grande zing!"
I bet Zingbot is a big fan of Ariana's "Break Free" video.
"This is a house of good-looking dudes. There's not one unattractive man in here. Oh wait. I didn't see you there, Derrick."
Awww, poor Derrick. I actually felt like it was a bit low to call him ugly, even for Zingbot. Derrick took it like a champ though, as I knew he would, saying that he's glad his wife married him before she realized how ugly he is. Awww, sweet Derrick.
"Donny, your look is very Duck Dynasty. Too bad your social game is more like Suck Dynasty."
OK, the Duck Dynasty quip is the obvious one to make about Donny, but it's a bit old at this point. I was expecting more from Zingbot. I love Donny, but there's plenty to make fun of him about.
"Cody, you're such a nice guy. You haven't made any enemies this summer, except for maybe Christine's husband."
This was the one I was waiting for. The live feeds tipped us off that Christine got very upset, even bursting into tears, after Zingbot made some comments about her relationship with Cody. I guess that was it. Clearly, it did its job in making Christine upset. Again, I was hoping for something a bit more creative from Zingbot. Does that make me a terrible person?
Another Big Brother, another successful Zingbot outing. Now if only every episode of Big Brother inspired so much excitement in me. Dare I say it? Zing!
Images: CBS; bb16paopaopao/Tumblr