'Big Brother' Houseguest Dramatically Swears Revenge, Totally Doesn't Deliver

I'm almost impressed that Andy managed to waste both Head of Household and Power of Veto, first by nominating the floaters—Jessie and Spencer—and then neglecting to backdoor anyone. Where are BB15's Machiavellis? Lady Macbeths? Frank Underwoods? In the words of every reality TV personality ever, you're not there to make friends. The primary modes of gameplay in this house are arbitrarily lying and, should that fail, whining. (More like Art of Bore, amiriteguyz?)

Everyone understands that Jessie is doomed, with the sole exception of Jessie. She finally notices that Helen and Elissa are avoiding her eye contact and getting chummy with Spencer. Jessie and Helen squabble over whether Helen was amenable to Jessie's recent suggestion that they oust Amanda (she totally was). "I think maybe you misunderstood me," Helen says.

Ooh, girl. I'm on Team Helen—and I'm generally in favor of blind, unequivocal denial when confronted with evidence of my own shortcomings—but I feel like she could've handled this better. Thanks to all the drama, her backpedaling's been made obvious to everyone in the house.

Jessie eavesdrops on her housemates giggling over her fate. She's furious: "If I'm going out, then it's Operation Bring the House Down time." Later, she vows to "blow everybody's [sh*t] out of the water." A proclamation like that would have me excited if the last few weeks of Big Brother hadn't been so anticlimactic—or if I'd heard it from, say, a GinaMarie. Now there's a woman who'd light this soundstage on fire.

I'm surprised that Aaryn expresses guilt over hurting Jessie. I'd assumed they left out that part of her brain when she was constructed in an underground laboratory by evil military scientists. She and GinaMarie argue for reasons I'm not entirely clear on. I don't think GinaMarie is entirely clear on the reasons herself, but that doesn't deter her from rousing the entire house from sleep to clear her name.

Why does BB15 seem to have its collective panties in a knot this week? Andy attributes this discord to the loss of calming, gentle Judd (miss you, bb). And, speaking of discord, how does Operation Bring the House Down play out?

Jessie's master plan apparently involves acting a little sniffy and then giving everyone the silent treatment—at least until voting time. "You guys are like a second family to me and I love you all," she gushes in her eviction speech. Ooookay, Jessie. She is unanimously evicted, because obviously.

By correctly identifying which of the season's previous competitions a series of songs describe (yup, this is awful), Aaryn becomes Head of Household for a fourth time. But that's fine, because we're all hugging and kissing and best friends because it's just too inconvenient to remember all the racist things she said anymore. Puppies! Sunshine! Rainbows!

Next Thursday, for the first time in the history of Big Brother, a juror will return to the house. Candice, Judd, Jessie and the contestant evicted next will complete for another chance on the show.

Image via CBS