Ah, the 2014 Primetime Emmys. From the moment we all found out that Tatiana Maslany wasn't getting an Emmys nod this year, we should have known that the Academy was going to snub too many great shows in favor of giving five million awards to about two of them. Yes, I'm looking at you, Breaking Bad and Modern Family. Regardless of whether or not you believe Breaking Bad and Modern Family deserved every Emmy they won, you can't deny that the Emmy nominees made for some tight competition that should have gotten a little more recognition. In fact, I think Orange Is the New Black should have won in a few more categories. Like, all of them.
Orange Is the New Black was nominated for Outstanding Comedy Series, Lead Actress in a Comedy Series, Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, and Guest Actress in a Comedy Series. Not only did they not win in any of the first three categories, but while Uzo Auba did win an Emmy for Guest Actress in a Comedy Series, she won it at the Creative Arts Emmys so we didn't get to see her accept her award live. Come on, now, Emmys. Get it together. Since the injustice of having Orange Is the New Black get shutdown so soundly by the Academy was just too great, I took it upon myself to imagine how the Emmys should have gone. No offense to the winners, of course, but Orange Is the New Black was robbed.
What would have happened if Orange Is the New Black had won in these categories? Well, let's see.
OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES
Orange Is the New Black, of course. Nice try, Modern Family, but we'll give you an Emmy nod in some of the other categories.
LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Taylor Schilling, for her role as the self-centered, self-righteous, bad-decision-prone Piper Chapman in the hit Netflix series Orange Is the New Black. Sorry, Veep, maybe next year.
SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Kate Mulgrew, for her role as the hardened yet vulnerable former kitchen matron Red. Only an amazing actress like Mulgrew can make you hate her one season and love her the next.
GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Okay, so the Emmys got at least got one of them right. But next time they need to show it live, okay? Okay.