Not to be outdone by the deluge of excitement from Brangelina's wedding, nor Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka's literally magical nuptials, George Clooney is getting back in the game: The actor and until recently Forever Bachelor announced Sunday night at a charity event in Florence, Italy, that Venice would be the location for Clooney's wedding vows to fiancée Amal Alamuddin. Clooney was accepting a humanitarian award at an event held by the Andrea Bocelli Foundation and the Muhammad Ali Parkinson Center, and said of his impending wedding: "I met my lovely bride-to-be here in Italy, whom I will be marrying, in a couple of weeks, in Venice, of all places."
Of all places, indeed! Venice is sinking, and so is Clooney's perpetual bachelorhood (JK, JK). It's sure to be a royal affair. Look, I don't really even care about Clooney besides a vague, intermittent recognition that he's super handsome and was great in O Brother, Where Art Thou?, and yet even I am excited to look at photos from his coming wedding. As was I in click-click-clicking on every photo of Angelina Jolie's kid-friendly veil, not to mention eating up every Instagram leak of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's insane wedding earlier this year. Why?! I have never been obsessed by the idea of marriage, have never hoarded secret Pinterest boards of dreamy wedding rings. And yet even I admit, somewhat shamefully, that I love to see celebrities getting married. Less to live vicariously, more to just see the sheer amount of extravagance that can even possibly exist in this world.
It's definitely a guilty pleasure. I have no attachment to Clooney and know nearly nothing about Alamuddin besides the fact that she's a badass lawyer and smokin' hot. But my complete lack of emotional investment doesn't bar me from a strange sense of happiness that comes from seeing beautiful, famous people get hitched. Maybe it's because I spend the majority of my time being disappointed with celebs who I love, that seeing celebrity weddings is more an exercise in sheer pleasure. Regardless of how problematic my faves might be, I still like seeing them gussied up in tuxes and gorgeous gowns. So like everyone else, I'll be waiting with bated breath to see Clooney kissing Alamuddin on a gondola. I'm only human.