Clooney's Getting Married Where?

Not to be outdone by the deluge of excitement from Brangelina's wedding, nor Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka's literally magical nuptials, George Clooney is getting back in the game: The actor and until recently Forever Bachelor announced Sunday night at a charity event in Florence, Italy, that Venice would be the location for Clooney's wedding vows to fiancée Amal Alamuddin. Clooney was accepting a humanitarian award at an event held by the Andrea Bocelli Foundation and the Muhammad Ali Parkinson Center, and said of his impending wedding: "I met my lovely bride-to-be here in Italy, whom I will be marrying, in a couple of weeks, in Venice, of all places."

Of all places, indeed! Venice is sinking, and so is Clooney's perpetual bachelorhood (JK, JK). It's sure to be a royal affair. Look, I don't really even care about Clooney besides a vague, intermittent recognition that he's super handsome and was great in O Brother, Where Art Thou?, and yet even I am excited to look at photos from his coming wedding. As was I in click-click-clicking on every photo of Angelina Jolie's kid-friendly veil, not to mention eating up every Instagram leak of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's insane wedding earlier this year. Why?! I have never been obsessed by the idea of marriage, have never hoarded secret Pinterest boards of dreamy wedding rings. And yet even I admit, somewhat shamefully, that I love to see celebrities getting married. Less to live vicariously, more to just see the sheer amount of extravagance that can even possibly exist in this world.

It's definitely a guilty pleasure. I have no attachment to Clooney and know nearly nothing about Alamuddin besides the fact that she's a badass lawyer and smokin' hot. But my complete lack of emotional investment doesn't bar me from a strange sense of happiness that comes from seeing beautiful, famous people get hitched. Maybe it's because I spend the majority of my time being disappointed with celebs who I love, that seeing celebrity weddings is more an exercise in sheer pleasure. Regardless of how problematic my faves might be, I still like seeing them gussied up in tuxes and gorgeous gowns. So like everyone else, I'll be waiting with bated breath to see Clooney kissing Alamuddin on a gondola. I'm only human.