Cringeworthy Real Stories of Wedding Objections

Have you ever been to a wedding where someone objected? I haven’t — but an awful lot of Reddit apparently has. Our AskReddit thread du jour, posted by stugots84, asked the wedding-goers of the content community whether they’d ever witnessed someone objecting to a marriage. The results, as you might expect, are alternately hilarious and horrifying; ranging from drunken attempts at humor to things you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy, they’re just about as cringe-worthy as they come.

Personally, I kind of feel like the whole “speak now or forever hold your peace” thing should be jettisoned entirely; the original purpose was for legal purposes only, not for crazy, emotional outpourings — and besides, if you’re going to indulge in the aforementioned crazy, emotional outpouring, the middle of the ceremony is not the time. Seriously. No matter how epic you think it will be, it will never go how you want it to. I have one word for you, and that word is “disaster.”

That said, though, I’d be curious to hear a first-person account from someone who objected — or more specifically, from an adult who objected, because one of the recurring themes of this thread involves small children saying “NO DON’T DO IT GRANDMA!” What exactly goes through someone’s mind when they decide to tell someone not to marry their chosen partner at the worst possible time? Food for thought.

Anyhoo, here’s your embarrassment for the day. Happy Friday!

1. The Ex Factor

It can be risky inviting an ex to your wedding — and this is exactly why.

2. The Ex Factor, Part 2

This, on the other hand? Oh man. I feel for the ex. If you’re going to invite your ex to your wedding (or bring someone’s ex to a wedding without telling them it’s their ex’s), this is why you don’t do it.

3. The Cheater

Wow. Here's a Scumbag Steve meme for this awful situation.

4. The Awkward Bro

Dude. No. Just no.

5. The Accidental Pause


6. The Loyal Friend

OK, not going to lie: I actually think that’s kind of cute.

7. The Prophecy

This redditor’s uncle is a far better person than I; I definitely wouldn’t have invited him/her to the second wedding. Then again, s/he was only two at the time, so maybe an exception can be made.

8. The Drunken Mistake

Many of the stories in this particular thread involve someone who had, ahem, been in their cups a little bit before the ceremony. Most of the time, the results just appear to be ill-advised, drunken jokes. I think.

9. The Second Family

Apparently this redditor's granddad is Mr. Rochester.

10. This:

I’ll let this one speak for itself. Click the image to make it bigger; it’s a doozy.

Images: Игорь Дзюин/Fotolia; Giphy (2)