If Women Said What They Were Thinking On Dates

Ah, first dates. So full of thoughts you as a polite young woman would never say out loud — unless, of course you did. Buzzfeed's hilarious new video "If Women Were Honest on Dates" gives us all a glimpse of what the world would be like if women just said what they were thinking while sitting across the table from whatever new guy they're trying to make conversation with. As you might imagine, the results are not your typical date conversation.

The video is a natural sequel to Buzzfeed's previous "If Men Used Honest Pickup Lines" because keeping your real thoughts to yourself is not something that's exclusive to any one gender. In fact, if the two videos make anything clear, it's that the future of the human race probably depends on our ability to lie to each other in the initial stages. Because while honest communication might be essential for relationships, when it comes to a first date it's important to lie. (And to wear the right outfit, and to ask good questions, and definitely avoid other questions, and maybe resist the impulse to drink even though it's a natural survival tactic, and... man, first dates are exhausting!)

So for all you fellas out there, if you're wondering what's going through her mysterious lady-brain, it's probably something like this:

The thing I really want to know, though, is how our hypothetical guys would react to these comments. I mean, if a girl tells her date, "I am just wondering what you look like naked," is that a turn on? Or would most guys actually be terrified to know a woman was assessing them on those points? And if a woman told a guy, "You're cute. I hope you have a personality," what exactly would be the graceful way to respond to that?

Of course, if a woman says, "I can tell you're not listening to anything that I'm saying," chances are, I guess, that the guy wouldn't have to respond since he probably didn't hear it to begin with.

Though, I am actually all in favor of women saying, "I'd like to stop you right there and just have you ask about me," more on dates. Because I don't know when men got the impression that dates were actually some sort of info session with the person ghost writing your memoirs, but that trend can die at any time. I won't complain.

Image: Fotolia