Last night I witnessed a miracle. Actually, I created a miracle with my bare hands. And that miracle is the Pillsbury Pizza Cake. Since we've all been wondering exactly how to make the pizza cake, I figured I'd give it a go. As a devout cheese lover, a disciple of pepperoni, and someone who just kind of likes to cook for no reason, this was the one challenge I needed to conquer on a random Monday night.
If this guy could do it, and then have the nerve to pair his pizza cake with a Shasta Twist (WTF? Did he secretly make his cake in '92 at my grandma's house and then wait til 2014 to reveal it?), then so could I. So I set out to grab these essential ingredients:
2 cans Pillsbury™ refrigerated classic pizza crust
1 1/2 cups Muir Glen™ organic pizza sauce (from 15-oz can)
(**Since jarred tomato sauce is one of mankind's biggest failures, I made my own like I always do. I'd give you a recipe, but I'm Italian and I have no concept of cooking with actual ingredients or proportions.)
3 cups shredded mozzarella cheese (12 oz)
1 cup sliced pepperoni
1 tablespoon butter, if desired
(**I didn't use this because once you're staring a 4-inch deep PIZZA CAKE in the face you don't really find butter necessary.)
You also need a 6-inch x 4-inch pan to bake this thing, but I'm kind of sure one doesn't even exist on Planet Earth. I searched Amazon high and low and settled on a 6-inch x 3-inch springform. You setting me up for failure, Pillsbury?
See what I mean? It doesn't exist.
So there I was in my kitchen with all supplies on hand. You'll never guess what happened next.
JK, of course you know what happened next. I made a freaking gorgeous pizza cake. But it did take a solid 45 minutes of wrestling with pre-fab dough and a bunch of these steps:
First up, yummy homemade sauce
How the hell do you even open these things?
Okay, cutting out dough circles is easy
Not burning them is another thing
At least they look like pancakes :)
Somehow this lumpy wad of dough has to cover the sides while this half-cooked other piece (aka a frisbee) sits in the bottom
Things weren't looking too good, but at least it looks a little better than this.
Surprise, there's a layer of olives in this thing
Why not have a little fun on the inside? Other suggestions: Sautéed spinach, lots and lots of meat, more pepperoni, pop rocks (wildcard!), etc.
Tada! The compilation process is complete and the pizza cake's even smiling at you if you squint your eyes enough
Obligatory "chilling here baking" shot. Bonus: Late-night pizza for my roommate
And then, just 25 minutes later, the miracle happened
I MADE THIS PIZZA CAKE AND IT WAS FREAKING GORGEOUS
Would I recommend the pizza cake? Absolutely. Sure it takes a lot of work, is relatively expensive, and will probably kill you if eaten more than once a year, but the end result is a work of art. The only way to top this? Enjoy it while lounging in your pizza bed.
Need more help? Check out our tutorial on making the perfect pizza cake (and follow Bustle on YouTube for more life hacks!):
Images: Rosanne Salvatore (11); Giphy (2); Amazon