October 4 is National Vodka Day, otherwise known as the best day ever. Widely celebrated since 2009, National Vodka Day presents the perfect opportunity to indulge in our favorite form of fermented fruit, sugar, and grain. Accounting for nearly 25 percent of spirits sold in the United States today, it's really no surprise that vodka has become our most popular libation, lending itself to countless concoctions including everything from classic Cosmopolitans to winter White Russians.
Why celebrate on October 4, you ask? Don't know, and don't care. All that matters is it's Saturday, and on Saturday, we let the booze flow like wine. With the onslaught of articles like "What Does Your Drink Choice Say About You?," by now we are well aware that each time we pick our poison, we're revealing one more very important layer of our onion. And what describes each unique layer of said onion better than our astrological star sign? That's right. Our vodka choice says just as much about who we are as our Zodiac signs, so in the spirit of National Vodka Day and (depending who you talk to) bullshit pseudoscience, I give you, "What Your Star Sign Says About Your Vodka Choice." Happy reading, you vodka loving stargazers!
Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19):
Detached, unemotional Aquarius will never give you anything other than the straight up, hard facts. And what reflects that better than a straight up vodka martini? Nothing, that's what.
Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20):
Easygoing Pisces is best known for going with the flow, and if the wave of life doesn't result in actual sex on the beach in October, she'll gladly replace the sand and surf with some figurative sex on the beach. The vodka-peach schnapps combo has Pisces written all over it.
Aries (March 21 - April 20):
Impulsive, self-serving Aries just doesn't see the point in mixing, because "Ain't nobody got time for that!" Six words for her: (vodka) shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots.
Taurus (April 21 - May 20):
Taureans are stubborn, bold, and indulgent, so no simple vodka drink will do. We'll have the Bloody Mary with extra spice, and don't forget the garden garnish because us bulls are of the Earth — and in the words of my hero Joe Dirt, "god made dirt and dirt don't hurt."
Gemini (May 21 - June 20):
Fickle Geminis can never decide. But why choose when you can have the best of both worlds? Black Russian or White Russian, they're both yours for the taking, and liking.
Cancer (June 21 - July 20):
Delicate, sensitive Cancers gravitate towards the softer side of life — precisely why the round, accessible fruits of the Cosmopolitan appeal to her most.
Leo (July 21 - Aug. 20):
Energetic and innovative Leos don't just make lemonade with life's lemons. They spike that shit and sugar the rim. Lemon drops for two, please.
Virgo (Aug. 21 - Sept. 20):
The weight of the world weighs too heavily on honest and analytical Virgo's mind, so she keeps it simple with a Cape Cod. Vodka + cranberry + lime. Nothing to agonize over here.
Libra (Sept. 21 - Oct. 20):
Diplomatic Libra aims to please crowds and bridge cultures, making the Moscow Mule her vodka drink of choice. Created to introduce Americans to Russia's finest in the 1950s, the Moscow Mule perfectly marries vodka, ginger beer, and lime creating the perfect fit for the international stage.
Scorpio (Oct. 21 - Nov. 20):
Determined and adaptable Scorpio can take the sweet and sting of life, so when presented with a classic Campari-vodka cocktail, she'll equally appreciate the delightfully refreshing burn, berry, and bitter.
Sagittarius (Nov. 21 - Dec. 20):
Optimistic and positive Sagittarius loves to work a room. Sagittarius, meet Vodka Collins. The simply sweet refreshing spritz of the vodka, soda, syrup combo will energize you to work the room, breaking hearts all along the way.
Capricorn (Dec. 21 - Jan. 20):
Structured and disciplined Capricorns get straight to the point. And since there's no such thing as a vodka hammer, she'll take a screwdriver. Happy National Vodka Day!
Images: Giphy (12)