If you're like me, you've probably heard the word "parkour", half-heartedly smiled like you knew what they hell it was, made a mental note to Google it later, and promptly forgot because you found a piece of cheese or something. So what is parkour? Officially, it is: "the sport of moving along a route, typically in a city, trying to get around or through various obstacles in the quickest and most efficient manner possible, as by jumping, climbing, or running." Per my definition, it is something extremely awesome that I cannot do because I am not physically fit enough; I can barely touch my toes, so I watch American Ninja Warrior instead.
And now, I also have this video. See, these guys, like most reasonable mortal humans, can't do parkour either – at least, not the traditional way. But they found a way: They do parkour lying down, as demonstrated in this fun stop motion short film, esoterically titled, "Stop-Motion Parkour." It kind of looks like a real-life Super Mario game which automatically makes it wonderful.
To celebrate this great day for all of us who can't do parkour but want to (sponsored by The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too), here are 5 things that would be way more awesome if parkour were involved:
- Grocery shopping. I dread going to the grocery store the way cats dread going to the vet. But with parkour, it would be a fun activity, darting from aisle to aisle picking up cereal and fruit while looking like a badass ninja.
- Weddings. I love weddings, and what would make them better? Yeah, you guessed it, some sweet parkour moves down the aisle.
- Doing taxes. Nothing like a parkour tax break to keep your senses sharp.
- Doctor visits. You can't take my blood if I'm parkour-ing around your office, can you, smart doctor? Yeah, you think you're so fancy with your degree and your white coat. You can't catch me though, can you? Yes, I'm a fully-grown adult, why do you ask? Stop looking at me like that, doctor fancy-pants. You're not the boss of me, check out this sweet jump.
- Divorce. Divorce sucks, so throw some parkour in there, why not?
Here's the awesome video:
Videos like these make me wonder: how much freakin' time did this take? How did they have the time to do this? These guys are champions, whether they can parkour properly or not. They make me want to run around a park, screaming like a little kid (but then again, I kind of always want to do that.)
So I salute you, stop-motion parkour gents, for bringing us some much needed smiles with your creativity. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get to the grocery store.