7 Channing Tatum Stripper Video Moments That Will Change Your Life for the Better — PHOTOS

The eagerly anticipated sequel Magic Mike XXL doesn't hit theaters until summer of 2015, but that doesn't mean you won't be able to get your shirtless Channing Tatum fix until next year. (And, no, not just the zillionth airing of Magic Mike on HBO.) Today, Us Weekly exclusively released never-before-seen footage of a young Channing Tatum stripping at a revue called Male Encounter back in 1999. A gift to us all! Especially those of us who couldn't make the Magic Mike XXL casting call for extras!

The clip of the then-18-year-old future superstar (he went by Chan Crawford back then) features some truly can't miss moments. Some of them are sexy, some are funny, most are downright grainy. However, if you don't have time to watch the minute-and-a-half video — or, more accurately, you don't want to get busted for watching something so very NSFW at work — we've picked out the most pivotal moments. (Heh, pivot-al. Get it?)

Fittingly, the banner that hangs behind the dancing, thrusting, almost completely nude Tatum reads, "You have to see to believe." Fine, twist our arms.

The Moment Where Channing Shows His Butt

OK, sorry, there's no way we can show that. This is a family-friendly site, people! Same goes for the moment when he puts his hand down his banana hammock.

The Moment Where It Totally Looks Like Channing Tatum Was in a Boy Band

Channing (front and center, of course) was the sensitive one, the one on his right was the bad boy, and the one on his left was the grainy one.

The Moment Where He Smooched One Seriously Lucky Lady in the Audience

Now, that is the ultimate story to dine out on for the rest of your life. "Oh, NBD, just got a kiss from Channing Tatum back in the day."

The Moment Where You Can See the Magic Mike Origins Story Unfold Before Your Eyes

Those moves look awfully familiar. All that's missing is Ginuwine's "Pony" playing in the background.

The Moment Where He First Reveals His Abs

Game changer.

The Moment Where the Emcee Asks, "What Do You Think of the Way Chan Wiggles It?"

We're pretty content with it, thanks!

The Moment Where Channing Tried to Seductively Dance While Wearing His Socks

No one — not even you, dear Channing — can pull this look off.

You can check out the entire video in its full gloriousness here.

Images: Us Weekly