Another day, another thirsty person who wants to get Youtube famous and scooped up by Ellen DeGeneres. This time, it’s a wisdom-toothless girl named Jayci Underwood who starts crying because she thought she would be Nicki Minaj when she woke up from her surgery. “I just wanted to have her butt. And her face. I just wanted to be Nicki Minaj when I woke up,” Underwood whines. And honestly, I am not buying any of this. I'm calling it: This is a clear case of someone faking a funny post-surgical video in a deliberate attempt at internet fame (fine, I'll write up your video, but not in the way you want!)
I could maybe believe the whole “I wanna be Nicki Minaj” post-op spiel, if Underwood didn’t then bring up Ellen Degeneres: “And you know what? Ellen. I want to be friends with her. I love Ellen. Ellen Degeneres is generous. That’s literally her name. And I love her,” Underwood says to whomever is filming her. This name drop seems so contrived, like just in case wanting to be Nicki Minaj isn’t funny enough. I mean, Underwood is practically saying, “Look! I’m drugged, I’m funny, I have gauze in my mouth, and I'm talking about Nicki Minaj because Beyonce was already taken a couple weeks ago — and see? I’m even telling everyone how much I love you, Ellen. Let me be on your show. Let me. Give me fame and money and everything.” But it’s not like Underwood is super subtle either. She next says, “I want to go on her show, and I want her to give me one of those giant checks so I can go shopping. And help kids or something.” Girl. Come on. Pull yourself together.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth pulled out before, and I know our bodies react to drugs in unique, twisted ways, but I also know for a fact that I didn’t wake up wondering why my oral surgeon didn’t perform plastic surgery and/or sorcery to make me look like a celebrity. But who knows, maybe I don’t dream big enough when under local anesthesia.
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