Uber Delivered Flu Shots, So Here Are 17 Other Things We Wish They'd Also Bring Us
The car service Uber is taking the concept of “servicing” customers to a whole new level. (No, get your mind out of the gutter.) Instead of just supplying livery cabs, the company also offered up something else last week: flu shots. The initiative, UberHEALTH, delivered flu shots to customers' homes last Thursday in Boston, D.C. and New York. Nurses administered the vaccine, and apparently, for each person who got a one, $5 was donated to the Red Cross. The offer was only good for five hours, but considering how lazy we city-dwellers can be, we liked the idea.
But this wasn’t the first time Uber tried something new with their car service: Last October, on National Cat Day, they delivered kittens from 11am to 4 p.m., just so people could play and cuddle with the balls of fur for 15 minutes. Because, cats.
Which begs the question: If Uber can deliver flu shots and kittens, what else could they deliver? I mean, why should we ever really have to leave our homes again, if you think about it? Here are 17 other things that, in our perfect, urban, and absurdly privileged world, Uber would also deliver.
WARM COOKIES AND MILK
With the winter months ahead, how Uber hasn't come up with idea on its own is shocking to me.
FOREIGN LANGUAGE PRACTICE
Having a foreign language speaker delivered to your door for practice sessions would be mighty convenient and educational. Or what if you could even request a driver who speaks the language you want to beef up on?
Some of us just can't organize. It would be great if someone could just come and organize our closet for us.
Someone to cook you dinner
Seamless is definitely the best thing to happen to humanity, but sometimes you want a home cooked meal, but lack the energy. So, yeah, UberDINNER can make you feel like it's mom in the kitchen.
Geek Squad may have the market cornered on computer repair, but what if your iPhone, iPad, or iPod craps the bed? You could go to the Genius Bar, but if you've ever been, you know it's on par with hell on earth. Obviously, the best way to avoid an emotional breakdown at the Apple store is to have the Apple Geniuses delivered to your home.
TURNDOWN AND TUCK-IN SERVICE
Just because you're not at a hotel doesn't mean you shouldn't have a turndown service... right?
If you live in a city and don't have a car, buying plants and carrying them home can be a real hassle. Why not just have them delivered?
A SAFE SEX PACK
Let’s say your mid-sexy times and realize you’re without condoms. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they could deliver condoms, lube, and maybe some sex toys right to your door in a matter of minutes?
From top shelf vodka to the cheap tequila that no one drinks unless they’re already drunk, a case of liquor would be great, thanks. (This actually already exists in NYC, and it's called Minbar.)
COFFEE AND THE MORNING PAPER
Whether it’s before work or right when you get to the office, this would be a perfect way to get the morning started.
WINE AND CHEESE PLATES
For the truly lazy urban dweller, this one might be even more important than flu shots.
Because who hasn’t realized they’re out of underwear, but doesn’t have time to do laundry?
TOILET PAPER AND PAPER TOWELS
Considering how often people find themselves down to the last square of TP, this would be awesome.
Have a hot date with that cutie from Tinder? Not sure what to wear or how to get eyeliner on without looking like a raccoon? UberGlam to the rescue.
Maybe you’re too ashamed of your two left feet to take an actual class, but you have a wedding a few months away and need to impress with your skillz. No worries, UberDANCE can help.
AT-HOME SPA TREATMENTS
I get acupuncture at home, and it’s amazing. I get to be cozy on my bed as needles are shoved into my skin. It’s definitely a luxury and I’m just lucky my friend is an acupuncturist. I’d love for everyone to experience at-home spa treatments — who says it has to be unsafe?
If they can deliver kittens for 15 minutes of playtime, then they can certainly deliver puppies for hour-long snuggle fests.