17 Sexy Halloween Costumes That Shouldn't Exist — Sorry, Sexy Walter White

Halloween is my favorite holiday for many, many reasons. The over-the-top parties, the candy, the pumpkin beer, and the fact that for one night a year, everyone turns into a theater kid. It's a pretty magical time. Unfortunately there is one thorn in the side of all my spooky merriment — the unnecessary overload of sexy Halloween costumes. It seems like every year the spandex industry outdoes itself with tacky outfits that are horrifying for reasons other than blood and gore.

At this point, I've almost seen it all from sexy Olaf to SEXY EBOLA HAZMAT SUITS. I wish I could say that I'm kidding, but I'm not. I guess there's nothing sexier than a beloved children's cartoon snowman and a truly devastating outbreak of a highly contagious disease. Way to go, universe. 

Some costumes are laughable while others are just downright offensive. Let's take a look at some of the worst of the worst...IF YOU DARE!

Image: Yandy

Sexy Mickey Mouse

Well childhood, it’s been nice knowing you. What’s even more perplexing about this Mickey Mouse costume is that they call it ”Sexy Tux and Ears Costume.


Image: Yandy

Sexy Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus is already an outrageous choice for a halloween costume. But something about this drunk and horny-looking “Twerkin Costume” just doesn’t feel right.

Image: Yandy

Sexy Princess Leia

Oh why WHY would you do this to Princess Leia? What would Liz Lemon have to say about this? And just in case you weren’t offended enough, this little gem is called “Deluxe Space Slave.” 

Image: Yandy

Sexy Hamburglar

And you thought Sexy Ronald McDonald was weird! Don’t get me wrong, hamburgers are totally sexy. But sexualizing a children’s happy meal character is not only creepy, but promotes poor nutrition!


Image: Yandy

Sexy Walter White

Jesse is already sexy enough in his own totally effed-up way. BUT SEXY METH COOK? Come on! Walter White would be spinning in his grave…and that’s saying a lot for a murderous druglord. 

Image: HalloweenCostumes.com

Sexy Minion From 'Despicable Me'

Even Gru couldn’t dream up something this evil.


Image: Yandy

Sexy Alex

Just when you thought A Clockwork Orange couldn’t be more insane and uncomfortable than it already is…


Image: Yandy

Sexy Link From 'Zelda'

Oh come on! They even made Link sexy! How can you even go about a mythical adventure in such binding attire?


Image: Yandy



Sexy Kermit

NO. NOT KERMIT. It has gone too far!


Image: Yandy

Sexy Ghostbusters Uniform

When there’s somethin’ strange in the neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? OFFENSIVELY SEXIST GHOSTBUSTERS!

I can’t wait for the all-female reboot to happen and have costumes like these erased from my memory.

Image: Yandy

Sexy Yoda

An insult to our entire galaxy, this is. Hmmmmmm.


Image: Yandy

Sexy Miley Cyrus & Robin Thicke

In case you didn’t hate the Miley/Thicke Twerk-Gate enough.


Image: Yandy

Sexy Harry Dunne

Dumb and Dumber? Now they’re definitely just trolling us.


Image: Yandy

Sexy Marge Simpson

At least it wasn’t a Sexy Maggie…


Image: Spirit Halloween

Sexy Gumby

Oh come on, this just looks lazy.


Image: Spirit Halloween

Sexy Patrick From 'SpongeBob SquarePants'

Nothing says “sexy” quite like an oafy cartoon starfish, AMIRIGHT?

Sexy Barney

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE.


Image: Yandy