There are a lot of great TV shows out there, but American Horror Story is by far one of the more controversial. But hey, that's to be expected given the show's fearless attempts at tackling some pretty dark topics. You either love it or you hate it, and while I admit it's definitely not for everyone, I proudly consider myself a diehard AHS fan. Sure, my therapy bills have never been higher and my nightmares are now infused with terrifying clown killers, but I still have no regrets. Why? Because, truth be told, you will never find a more magnificent group of actors united in one ensemble cast. Not to mention the fact that the scripts for each season are pure genius on Ryan Murphy's part. (I mean, it's definitely all sorts of sick and twisted, but still… pure genius.)
However, there are those out there who have a hard time looking passed the gruesome horror to see the series for the epic creation that it really is. Which, fair enough. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, after all, and I completely respect that. But I must warn you, there are a few things you should refrain from saying while in the presence of a true AHS fan. Because, let's face it — if there's one following you want to remain on good terms with, it's horror fanatics. (*insert menacing evil laugh here*)
Seriously though, I'd keep these comments to myself if I were you…
Is the Show Scary?
I'm sorry, but nothing deserves a classic Jessica Lange eye roll more than this. No joke, I have legitimately had people ask me this question before. So let me just officially go on the record saying that yes, considering it even has the word "horror" in the title, it's safe to assume that the show is far from sitcom material. Though I doubt it'll ever be as scary as this conversation.
Only Serial Killers & Psychotic People Watch Stuff Like That
That's an interesting assumption you've just made. Tell me, where do you live again?
Ryan Murphy Is the Worst
If by "the worst" you mean that he's a phenomenal writer who creates insanely versatile and powerful roles for women, then yes, I have to agree. Otherwise, I suggest you bite your tongue on the matter, Spalding-style.
It's Just Too Gory For Me
The show definitely ranks high on the gross scale, I'll give you that. But don't let a little blood make you prematurely biased of what is otherwise a very captivating series. Suck it up and power through.
I've Heard There's Singing. That Sounds Dumb
Three words: "The Name Game."
They Shouldn't Have the Same Actors Come Back Every Season
I'm sorry, are you allergic to talent? You probably also think Neil Patrick Harris is a terrible host as well.
I Watched 5 Minutes of an Episode Once & Had to Turn It Off
Well, as long as you gave it a fair shot…
Who Is Jessica Lange?
You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking. Jessica Lange is the queen of sass, a true goddess among us mere mortals, and one of the central reasons this show is so great. If you honestly have no idea who she is, then I fear we can no longer be friends. Sorry, but that's a deal breaker.
So It's a Different Storyline Every Season? Doesn't That Get Annoying?
Not really, though this conversation is getting right up there.
Evan Peters Gives Me the Creeps
What exactly creeps you out more — his insanely attractive face or that hunky physique? Just trying desperately to grasp your so-called logic here.
Isn't It Written By the Same Guy Who Does Glee?
Yes, it is, but they are still two completely different shows. Just because you don't like one doesn't necessarily mean you won't like the other. Now let's move on, shall we?