Why We're Concerned for Simon Cowell's Unborn Son

The news that The X Factor judge Simon Cowell is expecting a baby was pretty shocking when announced this past July — and not just because the child's mother is his friend's wife, Lauren Silverman. As interesting as that little fact was, the news was most surprising because Cowell has been pretty open about his feelings toward kids (spoiler alert: they're negative).

You'd hope that some of his ill-feelings would change as he got ready to be a parent, decorating a nursery, seeing the baby's heartbeat for the first time, picking out names. Nope. Considering what Cowell has said about changing diapers and what he plans to do with his millions, I don't think he's very excited, and if he is, he's got a strange way of showing it.

Let's recap a little. In 2011, Cowell told ShowbizSpy how he felt about kids.

At my age, definitely. The reality is, with the way I live my life, I wouldn’t have the patience. I’d sort of want people born at the age of 10, I think.

That's unfortunate, because I'm pretty sure that baby is coming out, well, a baby. Cowell has said a few other things about not wanting kids throughout his career, but let's fast forward to March of 2012, and his more positive words to AOL Music, who asked if his feelings had changed.

Well... yes. And no. I do really, really like kids, because I can talk to them and listen to them. The problem has always been how much time you need to devote to bringing up kids and I've always dedicated all my life to work, and at 52, I've probably missed the opportunity.

Seems good, right? He didn't miss his opportunity after all! Sort of, except he's kept talking since he announced Silverman's pregnancy, and it hasn't exactly helped. After seeing a sonogram of his baby, confirmed to be a boy, Cowell got a little emotional with The Times of London, or as emotional as the man who makes a living being mean to people can get.

You literally see this thing which is now alive moving around. I feel very paternal right now. So I am very happy.

I wonder if that'll become his son's nickname, "this thing which is now alive." Then came the diaper question. It's a standard thing to ask a celebrity who's expecting a baby, how they feel about having to change diapers and be up all the time. Usually the response is cute, generic, maybe they tease their partner. Not Cowell. His response to the diaper question was, "I'm not doing that, 100 percent absolutely not going near that!" And the no sleep one? "Can't I just get a nanny?" ]Cowell can't even pretend to be willing to wake up and take care of his son.

If all of this wasn't bad enough already, earlier today it was revealed that in his interview with Esquire , Cowell said that he wouldn't leave his $300 million fortune to his child.

I'm going to leave my money to somebody. A charity, probably -- kids and dogs. I don't believe in passing on from one generation to another.

I'm all for helping charities, and it's surprisingly generous of Cowell to want to help kids and dogs, both of which have plenty of charities in need. But what about taking say, $5 million aside for the baby? I'm sure any foundation can still do a lot with $295 million. Cowell does try to justify his reasoning, though.

Your legacy has to be that hopefully you gave enough people an opportunity, so that they could do well, and you gave them your time, taught them what you know.

So pay attention, baby Cowell. Let your father teach you how to develop a reality show, be horribly mean to strangers and discover boy bands, because after that, you're on your own.