One Direction's 'Night Changes' Lyrics Are Difficult to Interpret Unless You Get Philosophical — VIDEO

LONDON, ENGLAND - JUNE 08: Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne and Harry Styles of One Direction pose for photographs at Wembley Arena as they made the wishes of 60 seriously ill children come true and met the children prior to performing at Wembley Stadium on June 8, 2014 in London, United Kingdom. The band are ambassadors for Rays of Sunshine, a children's charity which grants wishes for seriously ill children in the UK. www.raysofsunshine.org.uk (Photo by Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images for Rays of Sunshine)
Source: Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

In the event you have been too busy reading about Kim Kardashian trying to break the Internet, you may have missed this little tidbit of news that will definitely make a dent in the so-far solid machine that is the World Wide Web: One Direction released a new single called "Night Changes," Friday, which is taken fresh off their upcoming album, Four

Though Four isn't set to be released until Nov. 17, it's undoubtedly exciting for fans to hear an early look at the acoustic/singer-songwriter inspired sounds that the band seems to be favoring in their new album — not to mention, to check out new lyrics from the band that brought us such unforgettable lines in the past. 

Thankfully, the lyrics to "Night Changes," so far, don't seem nearly as problematic as the lyrics to their last single, "Steal My Girl," were — and it thankfully isn't anti-feminist at all. Instead, "Night Changes" is actually more confusing than anything: Judging by the tone, you'd think it's a romantic song, but the lyrics talk a lot about nights changing quickly, so interpretation could be up for debate. 

Luckily for all of you, though, I took a total of not one, but two (!!!) courses in philosophy when I attended university a few years back, so I took the liberty of trying to crack this mystery seemingly impervious to interpretation that One Direction laid out for us with their newest song. And, you know, I think my philosophy teacher's would probably be proud of me for what I figured out (even though one of them never actually got my name correct and kept calling me Christina all semester).

So, here we go...

One Direction's "Night Changes" Lyrics, With Definitely Accurate Interpretations

Going out tonight, changes into something red
Her mother doesn’t like that kind of dress
Everything she never had, she’s showing off
[It's One Direction's fourth album, so I guess it's about time they got all philosophical with their lyrics. OK, I'll play along: If this hypothetical girl is showing off "everything she never had," doesn't that basically mean what she's showing off isn't actually in existence? Is anything in existence? ARE ANY OF US REALLY HERE?!]

Driving too fast, moon is breaking through her hair
She’s heading for something that she won’t forget
Having no regrets is all that she really wants
[Not an interpretation, but a pro-tip: If she really wants no regrets, she should probably make sure she drives the speed limit, because I'm pretty sure she'd regret getting a speeding ticket or wrecking that car she doesn't really have.]

We’re only getting older baby
And I’ve been thinking about it lately
[Thanks for the reminder, guys. I almost forgot that WE'RE ALL GETTING OLDER WITH EVERY SECOND THAT PASSES BY AND LIFE IS FLEETING AHHHH.]
Does it ever drive you crazy
Just how fast the night changes
Everything that you’ve ever dreamed of
Disappearing when you wake up
[Is he talking about daylight savings? Because that's really the only time I can think of when the night literally changes — and it does seem like it happens fast. Like, only last month, sunset was around 6 PM here in NYC, and now it's around 4:30 PM! That change just crept up on all of us. I get you, One Direction.]
But there’s nothing to be afraid of
Even when the night changes
It will never change me and you
[Wait, is she afraid of daylight savings? Is she having an existential crisis about the clock changing?]

Chasing there tonight, doubts are running ’round her head
He’s waiting, hides behind a cigarette
Heart is beating loud and she doesn’t want it to stop
[Yeah, I wouldn't want my heart to stop beating either. That'd be bad from, like, a medical standpoint.]

Moving too fast, moon is lighting up her skin
She’s falling, doesn’t even know it yet
Having no regrets is all that she really wants
[She's gonna regret falling, though, once she realizes she is. And, y'know, I feel like she'll probably regret being AFRAID of something like daylight savings time.]

We’re only getting older baby
And I’ve been thinking about it lately
[Then stop being a jerk and bringing it up.]
Does it ever drive you crazy
Just how fast the night changes
Everything that you’ve ever dreamed of
Disappearing when you wake up
But there’s nothing to be afraid of
Even when the night changes
It will never change me and you
[OK, I've got it, I'm convinced. So, this girl in the red dress who is showing off everything and nothing at the same time is terrified about the clocks changing for daylight savings time yet again, because it means another year is passing by and her life is slowly slipping away from her like sand in a gigantic hourglass. And since they're such stand-up guys, the members of One Direction are reassuring her that the night changing will not change her, or them, except maybe her sleeping patterns — aka, her dreams disappearing when she wakes up. Don't worry girl! You'll be able to sleep again at night! It's all good.]

Going out tonight, changes into something red
Her mother doesn’t like that kind of dress
Reminds her of the missing piece of innocence she lost
[Yeah, losing your innocence is all apart of growing up and seeing Kim Kardashian break the Internet. It happens.]

We’re only getting older baby
And I’ve been thinking about it lately
[I am not old. Stop it, One Direction. Stop it. Focus on the situation at hand.]
Does it ever drive you crazy
Just how fast the night changes
Everything that you’ve ever dreamed of
Disappearing when you wake up
But there’s nothing to be afraid of
Even when the night changes
It will never change me and you
It will never change, baby
It will never change, baby
It will never change, me and you
[This is probably the biggest overreaction to getting one extra hour of sleep because of daylight savings time that I've ever seen in my life.]

I should do this professionally, seriously.

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Image: Giphy

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