What do you get when you cross a famous UK boy band and The Boy Who Lived? Well, the most amazing mash-up that my Harry Potter-loving heart could've ever hoped for. On Monday, the One Direction boys visited the Wizarding World of Harry Potter following their Today show performance at Universal Studios Orlando to promote their new album, FOUR. And, unfortunately, if you spent too much time focusing on Matt Lauer's questions about Zayn Malik's sobriety, you probably missed it. Which is a real shame because it was extremely, for lack of a better term, magical.
At Bustle, we've already come to the conclusion that Harry Styles and Harry Potter are the same person — the evidence is simply undeniable. (And no, we're not just basing that on the fact that they have the same name. That's just a happy coincidence) But, after seeing the rest of the 1D crew — unfortunately, without Styles — traipsing around Universal Orlando's Wizarding World, rocking Hogwarts robes, and running through brick walls "like magic," I realized that it was absolutely the right time to consider which Hogwarts houses the five bandmates belong in.
Because, let's be serious — Louis Tomlinson is SO not a Gryffindor. (And I say that with the utmost respect.)
OK, fine, part of this decision was based on the fact that Harry Styles does share a first name with The Boy Who Lived. Personally, I think that's a sign because there can't possibly be that many Harrys in the world these days and the name is the mark of an extraordinary person. But anyway, Gryffindor house prides itself on being loyal, brave, and chivalrous, all things that Harry Styles himself has proven to be.
His most recent Gryffindor-like moments have come with Harry's reaction to Taylor Swift's 1989 being all about him. And during a recent interview comment about what he looks for in a partner, Styles bravely shut down fellow bandmate Liam Payne after he decided to interject with "female" being the most important. Because gender doesn't matter when it comes to love, people.
First of all, this sassy comment alone is enough to inform my decision on Liam Payne's Hogwarts house. But I'm also basing this decision on the fact that Liam supported Duck Dynasty's "family values" following Phil Robertson's anti-gay comments. (Which, I'm sorry, sounds like something a Malfoy would say.) And on how Liam somewhat indelicately handled his assertions that he's "100 percent not gay" when someone released a fake sex tape of the Directioner onto the Internet.
I'm not saying he's the next Voldemort, but I am saying that he's definitely got the sass and perhaps a misguided sense of traditionalism to match. Also, again, Draco Malfoy would totally make a joke about someone possibly not knowing how to read.
Louis might've dressed up like a Gryffindor, but we all know that there's no way the Sorting Hat would ever put the singer into the same house as the great Harry Potter. Louis, like many Slytherins before him, is a leader — perhaps the unofficial leader of 1D. But it's also Louis' general shiftiness that prompted me to place him in Slytherin house. Louis might actually be the next Voldemort — based solely on the fact that he seems to have this strange emotional pull with the entire band, with which he can manipulate their behavior to match his current mood. OK, Louis is Voldemort reincarnated. I'll say it and own it.
Hufflepuffs were generally underrepresented in Harry Potter. I mean, the core crew of Harry's friends were Gryffindor and Ravenclaws. But, in my eyes, Hufflepuffs are the kind, happy, and wonderful people that you just want to hang out with all of the time and Niall is one of those people. I mean, look at him carrying those hot chocolates in the above gif? He's adorable and perhaps the least controversial member of 1D.
I initially wanted to place Zayn in Slytherin based on his general mysteriousness. But, following Zayn's response to Matt Lauer's questions about his "illness" on Tuesday morning, I was forced to reconsider. Because Zayn demonstrated wit and intelligence with how he chose to respond to the Today show host's comments. Zayn's mysteriousness is less menacing, like I initially thought, and more endearing like Potter's Luna Lovegood. He's the underrated smart one — even when Louis tries to take all of the credit.