Thanksgiving is over, Black Friday is upon us, and that means one of two things: you're somewhere in the sea of crazy shoppers, elbowing your way from one aisle to the other, filling up your cart with discounted goods, and humming "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" to yourself in crazed, dulcet tones as a reminder that you are a holiday warrior, and this, ultimately, is about spreading Christmas cheer. Either that, or you woke up this morning still feeling slightly foggy from all that tryptophan working its way through your system, peeked out the window, shuddered at the the thought of stepping foot outside your apartment when the threat of being trampled seems so real, and then went back to sleep. Black Friday is terrifying, you thought to yourself. Why would you want to put yourself through that?
Whether you decide to go out and join the shopping crowds, or stay in with a blanket over your head cursing the effects of mass consumerism, there's something about Black Friday that turns us all into a bunch of holiday drama queens. I mean, it's Friday, for goodness sake. Any other week, and you'd be jumping for joy that this most precious of days had finally rolled around again. But this week? You're either out of your mind for going out, or you're a total scrooge for staying in.
I say it's time we had a healthy dose of perspective. Yes, there are certain things about Black Friday that are truly scary. This crowd of people pushing their way into Urban Outfitters, for instance:
But for the most part, Black Friday is just another day, and in the grand scheme of days, there are Fridays that are just as terrifying, if not much, much worse. We've listed a few of them for you right here.
The Song "Friday"
Honestly, I remain one of Rebecca Black's biggest fans. I think what the girl did takes a whole lot of courage, especially in a world where the Internet can be so mean, you guys. But that being said, this song is catchy as hell. And when it gets stuck in your head, it gets stuck for days. And then I'm that girl singing "gotta get down on Fri-iii-day" at work when it's Monday, and everyone's like "shut up Kathryn." The worst.
Flashback Friday
I don't understand Flashback Friday. It's really just a less cool version of Throwback Thursday. I only have so many adorable pics of me as a kid that I can post on Instagram, OK? Flashback Friday is sort of an excuse to share all those leftover photos no one really cares to see. Flashback Friday to the everything bagel you ate for breakfast last Saturday after waking up with the world's worst hangover lololol? Don't care. Flashback Friday to four days ago when you and 10 of your closest friends got the best margs everrrr during Monday night happy hour? DON'T CARE. So to recap: #FlashbackFriday = #dontcaredontcaredontcare.
1869 Black Friday Stock Market Scare
Gather round, kids, because it's time for a brief history lesson. Black Friday hasn't always been the day after Thanksgiving. Way back when, it used to refer to September 24, 1869, and it had nothing to do with holiday sales. Instead, it had to do with the U.S. gold market collapse that occurred during the tumultuous period of American history known as Reconstruction. I don't want to get into too many details, but it screwed over a lot of investors. And I mean, that sounds a little worse than not getting your hands on an iPad 2 at $100 off. I'm just saying. (#FlashbackFriday)
Casual Friday
I know, I know. Casual Friday is the best! You can wear jeans to work! You can let your personal style run free! UNLESS you work at an office that doesn't implement Casual Friday, in which case it becomes the worst. The same holds true for Summer Fridays. Being stuck at work while your friends get to leave at noon simply because it's summer? No. I don't think so.
TGI Fridays
TGI Fridays isn't bad, I guess, but it's kind of like a less delicious version of Chili's. And if you pump yourself up to go to Chili's, only to find out there's an hour-long wait and your best bet is to go to TGI Fridays instead where there's no wait... well? That's kind of a let down. A let down you don't easily bounce back from.
Friday the 13th
I'm obviously talking about the movie franchise, and not the day itself, because as far as I know, nothing creepy has actually happened on Friday the 13th, knock on wood. But these movies? These movies are terrifying. And I know I'm a huge wimp who hates (HATES) scary movies, but I would still rather be in the aforementioned crowd trying to charge my way into Urban Outfitters than watch any of these alone, in the dark, by myself. I'm being serious.
The Friday between paychecks
The one Friday on this list that is truly terrifying, and it happens every other week. Ohmygosh. I can't even talk about it.
Visit our Black Friday Explore page for more on shopping’s biggest day of the year.
Images: YouTube; Giphy (5)
