The Most Hilariously Misheard Beyoncé Lyrics

I have said it before and I will say it again: Beyoncé is my everything. Even when I am not specifically listening to her music, I am singing her praises to anyone who makes the mistake of holding still long enough. However, the Queen of the Beyhive is not without her flaws. No, I'm not talking about the ongoing debate over whether or not Beyoncé photoshops her Instagram pictures. I'm talking about the fact that, sometimes, Bey doesn't freakin' enunciate. If you thought mishearing "Starbucks lovers" in Taylor Swift's lyrics was bad, imagine trying to figure out why Beyoncé likes singing about bathroom activities so much in "Drunk In Love."

Basically, what I'm saying is, if you've ever had that moment where everyone in the car is staring at you because you just got a Beyoncé lyric so wrong that they're embarrassed for you, then you're not alone. There are a lot of lyrics the Queen has put out there that just don't sound how they're meant to — or might cause you a whole lot of confusion if you hear them wrong the first time. But I understand not wanting to question Beyoncé just because you have no idea what she's talking about. I mean, she's Beyoncé. She can sing about whatever she wants. At least the music is good.

So, without further ado, here are some of Beyoncé's most commonly misheard lyrics, from the normal to the crazy to the WTF.

"Baby Boy"

Time: 2:56

Misheard Lyrics: "You a Top Shop girl."

Actual Lyrics: "You no stop shock, girl."

Notes: I mean, don't get me wrong. Top Shop is too expensive for me, but I can totally see someone like Beyoncé shopping there. Or, more accurately, see Sean Paul assuming that someone like Beyoncé shops there. Top Shop girl is totally plausible, okay.

"Drunk In Love"

Time: 1:24 (and throughout the song)

Misheard Lyrics: "We pee all night."

Actual Lyrics: "We be all night."

Notes: As everyone who has ever had too many drinks knows, you spend about half your time at the bar in the bathroom. So, technically, if you be all night then you will probably also pee all night. So there.

"Drunk In Love"

Time: 3:52

Misheard Lyrics: "Eat the cake. Anime."

Actual Lyrics: "Eat the cake, Anna Mae."

Notes: Who is Anna Mae?!?! (Answer: It's the birth name of Tina Turner — and that line is a reference to a movie about her abusive relationship with husband Ike Turner. I think I prefer my interpretation.)

"Drunk In Love"

Time: 1:13 (and throughout the song)

Misheard Lyrics: "We woke up in the kitchen saying 'hi' to healthy dishes, oh baby!"

Actual Lyrics: "We woke up in the kitchen saying, 'how the hell did this shit happen?'"

Notes: Well, Beyoncé and Jay Z did go vegan back in 2013. So. You know. This would have been a lovely reference to that.

"Run the World (Girls)"

Time: 2:27

Misheard Lyrics: "Strong enough to batter children, then get back to business."

Actual Lyrics: "Strong enough to bear the children, then get back to business."

Notes: I've never been more happy to be wrong about a lyric in my whole life. Let's avoid any references to child battering, please and thank you.

"Crazy In Love"

Time: 0:58 (and throughout the song)

Misheard Lyrics: "Got me hoping you'll pay me right now."

Actual Lyrics: "Got me hoping you'll page me right now."

Notes: Which is worse? Being a gold digger or being old enough to know what a pager is? I think I can feel the liver spots growing on my skin...

"Irreplaceable"

Time: 0:44

Misheard Lyrics: "You got me to say."

Actual Lyrics: "You got me twisted."

Notes: I still think she's saying "you got me to say." It's not like it changes the song at all.

"Irreplaceable"

Time: 0:21

Misheard Lyrics: "If I farted, please don't touch."

Actual Lyrics: "If I bought it, baby, please don't touch."

Notes: I mean, Beyoncé is just comfortable enough with herself and her body to share with us the fact that she farts. Not to mention she has enough respect for her cheating ex to not force him to touch it.

"Me, Myself and I"

Time: 1:01 (and throughout the song)

Misheard Lyrics: "Me, myself and I is all I got an inn."

Actual Lyrics: "Me myself and I, that's all I got in the end."

Notes: If Beyoncé had an inn, I would be the first guest. Besides, what better way to get over a bad relationship than to pioneer a new business? Busy hands, busy minds!

"Ring the Alarm"

Time: 1:51

Misheard Lyrics: "He's so African and bold."

Actual Lyrics: "He's so arrogant and bold."

Notes: I wasn't even going to ask questions, but "arrogant" is a way better descriptive term than "African." Plus, it goes along with the word "bold" a lot better.

"Best Thing I Never Had"

Time: 1:09

Misheard Lyrics: "'Cause honestly you pterodactyl beaver."

Actual Lyrics: "'Cause honestly you turned out to be the (best thing I never had)."

Notes: Seriously, this is what a lot of people thought she was saying. Myself included. This is why Beyoncé needs to enunciate, you guys.

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