11 Pop Stars Who Can Be Perfectly Described With Girl Scout Cookies
Have you heard the good news? Okay, so there's a lot of good news to roll out this close to Christmas, but I'm talking about the good news for the cookie lover in all of us. Apparently, you can now buy Girl Scout cookies online, which is a big deal to those of us who spend most of the year stalking our local Girl Scout so we can be first in line to buy up her supply of Trefoils. The fact that Girl Scout cookies are now just a click away is a huge bonus to my holiday, since I usually just spend my time on the Internet stalking the lives of celebrities. Then, I was struck with a burst of inspiration on how to combine these, my two great loves. What if pop stars were Girl Scout cookies?
Don't get me wrong. I'm sure each of the pop stars below probably have a favorite Girl Scout cookie that is very different from the one I've decided they best embody. However, that is completely irrelevant in light of my decision to celebrate the fact that you can order Girl Scout cookies in the same click that might allow you to check on the state of Beyoncé's marriage by matching eleven pop stars to their Girl Scout cookie soulmates. Maybe they'll take my suggestions and find a new favorite cookie this Christmas season.
Cookie: Thin Mints.
Thin Mints are mint chocolate in cookie form and, according to Business Insider, are the most popular Girl Scout cookie in America. So, too, is Beyoncé the most popular pop star in America and beyond. I have one word for you: Beygency. I have one more word for you: Flawless.
The Samoa is a delicious blend of caramel and toasted coconut — as well as the second most popular Girl Scout cookie in America. Taylor Swift has never been more popular than she is right now and, while she's no Beyoncé, she's still got a healthy amount of fans worshipping her. Especially now.
Taglongs are the Girl Scout cookie version of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, burying peanut butter in a chocolatey coating. This is the perfect cookie for Selena Gomez because, apparently, Gomez likes to eat pickles with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. (Ewwww.)
Sorry, guys, but I love shortbread cookies and thus Trefoils have always been my favorite. They are long-lasting and enduring and a great intro to Girl Scout cookies — just like Queen Britney Spears was every '90s child's intro to pop music. Not to mention she is well on her way to Madonna-like endurance in the music business.
Admittedly, I chose Do-si-dos for Ariana Grande because that is the cutest name for a cookie in the world and, despite her sexiness, Grande is one of the cutest pop stars in the world. However, the way Do-si-dos blend crisp and crunchy with a creamy peanut butter interior is a great analogy for Grande. She's a little of both.
Cookie: Cranberry Citrus Crisps.
The Girl Scout Cookies website describes these cookies as "tangy" and "zesty," and if there's any pop star out there bringing the tang and the zest then it is definitely Rihanna. Who else could throw such random flavors together and somehow make it work?
Lemonades are shortbread cookies with a citrusy twist, and that reminds me of Nicki Minaj because of how easily she reinvents herself. She may have burst onto the scene with colorful wigs and dramatic outfits, but she has since gone more demure to prove that we can just never tell what to expect from her.
Cookie: Rah-Rah Raisins.
Rah-Rah Raisins are whole grain oatmeal cookies with plump raisins and Greek yogurt-flavored chunks — so oatmeal raisin cookies with a twist. How does that remind me of Lorde? Well, oatmeal raisin cookies are the unconventional underdog on the list of good cookies, and throwing in some Greek yogurt makes it even more alternative. Just like Lorde herself.
Cookie: Savannah Smiles.
If that picture alone isn't enough to explain why Katy Perry is the Savannah Smile, then the fact that these lemon-flavored cookies come not only with a tangy taste but also in an unconventional shape when compared to the other cookies should prove that they're Perry's soulmate.
These cookies come with the word "Thank you" written in them in "English, French, Chinese, Swahili or Spanish," according to the Girl Scout cookies website. The fact that their inclusive message is translated into different languages so everyone can read it makes me think of Lady Gaga's own tolerant love for people from all walks of life.
Did someone say gluten-free? These butter cookies with toffee bits are available in a gluten-free form in select Girl Scout market locations, which is perfect for a celebrity like Miley Cyrus. She was on a gluten-free diet, you know.
Image: Bustle (11)