10 Fashion Items We Love To Wear, But Secretly Hate — Because Perma-Wedgies Are Just Not Fun
Fashion is expressive. It's a means to showing off all of the different aspects of our personalities, from our likes to our interests and even to our moods. A lot can be said with a snazzy hat, a flirty dress or a demure coat, for instance. So that being said, fashion is fun. And it's exciting. But it can also be very, very annoying. We've all heard Tyra Banks lecture us over and over again about how difficult it is to be a model, whether it be all the hair pulling and tugging (which is enough to make anyone want to pull a Britney), the painful foot-cramming into far-too-tiny heels (putting all ugly step sisters to shame), or all the sucking-it-in that's required to walk fabulously down the catwalk. It's fashion, and it may not always be comfortable, but at least it looks good, right?
Well, it's not just models who often have to suffer for the sake of fashion, but rather all of us willing to endure discomfort and annoyance just to wear something we've fallen in love with (and in reality, that's lots of us). "Beauty is pain," after all (or so they say?). But let's not get it twisted, here — we may love to wear certain things because we fancy the style and how it looks on us, but on the inside we are quite often cursing (cursing loudly) and damning them all to the fiery pits of hell for making us suffer in discomfort in order to pull off fabulousness. So why don't we have a little look at some of the things that we all love — but secretly hate — to wear:
Ah yes, sequins — your glittering, sparkling, dazzling lover. What girl doesn't love to throw on a sequin dress or top, and sparkle and glitter like a mermaid movie star? But for as much as we love to glitter and sparkle, we must sacrifice a little bit of comfort in order to do so. Sequins are very — very — itchy and torturous under the arms. Every time I've worn a sequin dress or top, my arms are constantly brushing against the rough, itchy, pinchy fabric, causing me to groan and curse and tantrum inwardly (sometimes outwardly) all evening long. But at least I'm itchy and fabulous.
Fringe kimonos are all the rage right now, and there's nothing more luxurious than flowing around the house Stevie-Nicks-style in a kimono — tassels dancing around you wherever you are. Unless those tassels get caught on handles. And doorknobs. And anything else you can think of. And trust me, they will get caught.
Unless you're one of those rare (and talented) women who can walk in heels without a problem, then heels are one of the most hateful, terrible, gorgeous inventions of all time. They're awful for your back and posture. They're difficult (not to mention dangerous) to walk in. And they're at risk of snapping off at any moment because of a subway vent or other unidentifiable hole in the street. And yet, they still maintain that fun, sexy, flirty look for our legs and feet that have us all smiling through our teeth as we strut with both discomfort and confidence.
Slouch hats are the perfect fall/winter accessory for everyone, and I happen to really love the look of this accessory (as I find it tends to balance out the head quite well on most people — we're all a bit asymmetrical, don't you know?). So what could be annoying about these casual wonders? Oh, maybe the fact that they never stay on your head. Seriously, I can't be the only one who has to bobby-pin my hat into my hair to make it stay put.
Nylons — whether under a skirt, dress, or shorts — we love the look. Now coming in a vast array of colors, nylons are a great way to add pizazz to your outfit, dress it up, cover your legs without needing to wear tights, finish off that black-tie-look; you name it. But what we don't love is the struggle. The struggle to put them on, the struggle to keep them clean (heaven help you if you own a pet) and the struggle to keep a pair intact and safe from those dreaded runs.
Lace is gorgeous, and we wear it as lingerie, as dresses, tops and tights. We even accessorize with it! The whole look is delicate, feminine and sexy — and a lot of us love that blending of the sex appeal with the more subtle and traditional femininity! But we hate to itch and chafe all day long, too — and lace is a gorgeous, beautiful, itchy demon (perhaps a cousin of sequins). Really, no one wears lacy panties unless they're planning on getting some — if that's even worth it.
No creases, sure. Except the one that's in that perma-wedge all day long.
The lift, the cleavage, the feeling of being held and tucked in safely all day long. All is well and good in the world of braziers. That is, until that happy, anticipated moment when you finally get home, shedding that boob-tube from its grasp of death that's been holding you hostage all day long with a sigh of massive relief. It's at that moment where the notion of bra-burning becomes a completely relateable desire. Cry freedom!
So chic, so mod! But it's choking me.
Let's face it. These look cool. I'm into the feathery, fancy-free bohemian look that seems to creep in every summer and manifests itself in these headbands. But no one thinks to mention how they leave an imprinted mark right across your forehead, mere minutes after wearing it. Oh — and they tend to itch, too. Groovy.