2014 Fashion Trends to Retire Now — I Mean, Who Really Wants "Normcore" as an Identifier?
It was Karl Lagerfeld who famously said, "Trendy is the last stage before tacky." Besides the fact that everything Mr. Lagerfeld says is religion (even though he's been known to be quite the body-snarker), this statement is particularly true. Being trendy is a tricky business, my friends. I tend to be a firm believer that fashion should be fun and above all else, an outlet for self-expression. The clothes you wear should make you happy and you should never dress for anyone other than yourself. Do those gaucho pants make you feel FAB-U-LOUS? Well, then, who am I to tell you they are old news? However, there is something to be said for paying attention to the trends so that you don't end up on the wrong side of that fine line Karl Lagerfeld speaks of.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion when it comes to fashion, and believe me, I have some strong views on certain trends we saw in 2014. While the last 11 months brought pretty brilliant fashion that I hope lives on (here's looking at you, sequins), here are the trends I hope we can all agree to retire before entering into a new year.
OVERLY DESTROYED DENIM
And by destroyed, I mean a huge gaping hole that shows your entire upper thigh, two full knees or your shins. At that point, why not just wear shorts? I am a big fan of jeans that are distressed, and am even on board with styling slightly ragged denim with heels for the high-low look that took over this year. However, I hope jeans that reveal an entire body part of any kind become a denim don't in 2015.
I am not sure how a type of fashion once described as "self-aware style blandness" ever became a phenomenon, but it was certainly all the rage this year. From here on out, I personally only want to hear the word normcore in a retrospective conversation. This trend encompasses an endless number of things I hope don't make the cut for the coming year — oversized everything, stonewashed jeans and clothing that only encompasses Pantone colors ranging from white to Cool Gray 11. I fully understand the allure of going back to the basics, but I think we went too far! We simply can't successfully emulate everything the Olsen twins do, so let's pump it up a bit in 2015.
THE UGLY SANDAL
My wish for the new year is that sandals are pretty again come spring — not chunky all the way around with thick, unflattering straps. Also, it would be nice to leave anything behind that could be described as orthopedic or "grandma chic." I'll admit it. I participated in the ugly sandal trend this year and am fully aware that Eva Chen and her cult following were huge fans. I just hope spring 2015 brings about new footwear fashion to obsess over.
HIGH-WAISTED SHORT SHORT
At the risk of sounding like a prude, I am tired of seeing everyone's butt cheeks, guys. Don't get me wrong, I love a high-waisted short. I just think that in 2015, the length we add to the top should not be taken from the bottom. Pockets out the front and booty out the back may have been fun for festival season this year, but I am ready for warm weather that does not bring about bare bottoms everywhere.
Show me an industry in which standing out is the key to success and O'll show you and industry that breeds a lot of crazy, creative, OTT designs. This year, quirky and kitschy manifested themselves in the form of food fashion. Moschino definitely had a moment with the golden arches, and had my income magically tripled at any point this year, I would have absolutely purchased Chanel's lait de coco purse. Even so, it is nearly impossible for the general public to make McDonald's look chic, and I literally never want to see a hamburger as an earring again. So please, eat donuts in 2015; don't wear them.
I do not want to use the phrase, "Business in the front, party in the back," when describing an article of clothing in the coming year. Skirts should be all business or all party, all the time. Mullet skirts (especially those that are sheer on the bottom and solid on the top) have got to go. Let's find other ways to be flowy next summer.
Dresses over pants and turtlenecks under dresses. In total basic terms, I can't even. For a time, the fashion world was making a real effort towards a movement of year-round wearability. While I certainly appreciate this from a financial perspective, some things just can't be worn in the winter. What looks inventive and chic in a photo looks bulky and bulgy, IRL. If you want to wear a dress in 2015, why not bust out a pair of tights? And if your top wasn't already constructed with long sleeves, perhaps put on a blazer to warm up.
I get it, you guys. Rag & Bone, DKNY, Ralph Lauren and quite a few others made this childhood favorite appear super cute on the runway, and the Madewell models made us all think we could actually pull the trend off. A lot of fashion influencers informed us that dungarees could be mainstream in a modern, fitted silhouette (bonus points if you threw on a crop top underneath). Unfortunately, overalls are still essentially a denim onesie that look good on approximately seven people in the entire world. I think it's time the rest of us stop trying to pretend we're part of those seven.
Overall, there were a lot of amazing trends to love in 2014. Unfortunately, the above eight would be what Mr. Lagerfeld meant when he said tacky. So let us be trendy in 2015, and not the other dreaded "t" word.