19 Book Titles to Use in Your Break-Up Speech, Because Sometimes The Words Don't Come On Their Own

Break-ups suck. Being dumped, in particular, really sucks. Buy some ice cream, chase it down with some cheap tequila, and binge watch all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls on Netflix while trying not to check your ex's Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook obsessively. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone.

But what if you’re on the other side of things? What if you are the one who needs to end the relationship? Maybe it’s because you can’t handle your boyfriend’s new freegan lifestyle, or because his mom still has a picture of him and his ex in a frame that says True Love on her mantle. No matter the reason, it is not always easy to play the bad guy. Sometimes, you just can’t find the right way to say goodbye no matter how many romcoms you watch.

When “It’s not you, it’s me” and “we can still be friends” just won’t cut it, here are some lines you can use in your break up speech — or break up text, email, or voicemail, if people still listen to those — straight from the spines of your bookshelf.

When you need to be blunt...

Everything Is Wrong with You by Wendy Molyneux

When you actually want to say, "It's you, not me"...

A Good Man is Hard to Find by Flannery O'Connor

When you want to leave some kind of optimism behind...

Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You by Peter Cameron

When you need to admit you really did have a thing for your coworker all along...

We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver

When you would rather have a clean break over email...

Due to Lack of Interest, Tomorrow Has Been Canceled by Irene Kampen

Instead of saying, "Actually, it's your fault"...

This Is How You Lose Her by Junot Díaz

When you've found something incriminating on his phone...

I Know What You Did Last Summer by Lois Duncan

When the feeling is mutual...

All’s Well That Ends Well by William Shakespeare

When that thing that got on your nerves reaches its tipping point...

I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar by Sharon Erica Nichols

When you want to be a little philosophical...

Love Is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield

Instead of, "I need some space"...

Coming Up For Air by George Orwell

When you just want to deal with getting your stuff back...

I Want My Hat Back by Jon Klassen

When even access to his Seamless password can't salvage things...

Nothing Can Keep Us Together by Cecily von Ziegesar

When you can't take one more night with "the guys"...

I Don’t Care About Your Band by Julie Klausner

When you want to be honest about the inevitable booty call...

I’ll Be Seeing You by Mary Higgins Clark

When you want to communicate that you're going to win the breakup...

On the Bright Side, I’m Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God by Louise Rennison

When your best friend (or an episode of Gray's) parts the clouds on this whole relationship thing...

Everything Is Illuminated by Jonahan Safran Foer

When you know you're being kind of bitchy about the whole thing...

When you caught him red-handed...

Your Lover Just Called by John Updike


Images: Unlistedsighings/Flickr; Giphy (21)

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