13 Things People Who Live in San Diego are Tired of Hearing

I’m involved in a pretty steady love-hate relationship with San Diego. It’s simultaneously claustrophobic and gigantic, it’s beautiful but kind of in that artificial, postcard way, and it’s a place where I can see myself ending up, but not actually "living" in. It’s next-level silly to be complaining about a beach city embalmed by predictable weather and assorted terrain (apparently we’re also nationally known for our craft beers, and I can't decide if that's pretentious or just really cool or both). I know I should feel pure, unadulterated ardor for this city, and on some level I do. On another though, I’ve had my suitcase packed for about three years.

In my fourteen years here, I’ve accumulated generalizations that people stick to San Diego. I think people view San Diegans as vapid and disturbingly chill, which is partially true. Most of San Diego is engulfed by bio-tech companies; You would never think it, but a vast majority of the city is pretty techy and kind of like Palo Alto on a smaller scale, but warmer. Mostly though, it’s like any other city. If that city was obsessed with the Chargers, acai bowls, and burritos. Here are 14 more assumptions and questions people make or ask about San Diego:

“Do you go surfing a lot?”

I’ve never actually gone surfing because I’m uncoordinated in all the ways, and would probably kill myself trying to balance on a slick piece of plastic. While surfing is popular, we’re not all embodied Beach Boys records (sadly).

“Is Hollywood far from you?”

When my parents first told me that we were moving to San Diego, I promptly told everyone in my third grade class that I was going to be living in Hollywood with famous people. San Diego and LA are three hours apart, so that definitely was a stretch.

“Do you go to Mexico, like, all the time?”

As it turns out, it’s actually kind of a big deal to travel to a different country, even when you’re an hour away from it.

“Is rent expensive?”

San Diego is no New York or San Francisco, but its real estate prices are pretty stroke-inducing, too. Expect to allot about 80 percent of your income on housing. *sobs forever*

“Don’t you miss having actual seasons?”

Not really, since Starbucks essentially encompasses all the seasonal emotions in one cozy, red cup. Who needs real winter when you have peppermint mochas?

“How long does it take you to get to work?”

Let’s not actually talk about this tragedy, because I can feel my traffic-rage start to bubble and threaten to burst because traffic is insurmountable, and it only gets worse when weather happens. Ever seen five cars flipped over on their roofs within a mile from each other? No? Move to San Diego and you will.

“Is everyone blonde?”

I mean, San Diego isn’t like the Hitler Youth or anything. We have some genetic diversity.

"Is everyone hot?"

Contrary to weirdly popular belief, some people are not actually attractive. It's a rarity, but it happens.

"Have you met Blink 182?"

No, but I’ve eaten at the same Sombrero’s that’s referenced to in the song “Josie.” Look who's awesome now.

"Or Tony Hawk?"

I’ve served Tony Hawk and his family dinner once, and me and his mom were BFFs at the retirement community in which she lived and I worked. TRUE STORY, GUYS. But most of the time, asking someone this is ridiculous and weird.

“Do you do yoga, like, all the time?”

Yoga is basically just crawling on the floor like a baby, so no, I do not participate in this hyper-mellow sport/way of life.

“You must work out all the time”

If by "work out all the time" you mean "worked out one time four months ago and spent the entire hour panting on the elliptical in distress." Then yes. I work out all the time.

“Have you seen Anchorman?”

Duh, but that doesn't really have anything to do with the fact that I live here. It's just an awesome movie.

Images: DreamWorks; Giphy(6)