Walter Scott once said, “What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”
Homeboy was surely talking about the lies told on first dates. On date No. 1, people are trying to impress your socks off — and probably your pants, too. You don’t want to say the wrong thing and have your date running like the wind. So maybe you fib a little. I’m not saying everyone is a liar, but exaggerations may be the name of the game.
But lying on a first date doesn't really help you later — you could end up having to pretend you love listening to NPR in the morning for the rest of your relationship, just to cover for that one fib. The first date is about getting to know someone new, and letting someone else get to know you. But while you're at it, you can also be observant of red flags that scream, this person is skipping over the details, or worse.
No polygraph needed, but just make sure to weed out the BS from the truth.
The ghost of relationships past will haunt most first dates. Usually people give the generic answer, “We realized we wanted different things,” when the real one is, “He was an alcoholic with an eye for other women.” If you’re going to fib, this one really is okay. You don’t want to give a dramatic play-by-play of the breakup. Summing it up a little “neater” is fine, but just know your date is probably doing the same thing.
Ever walk away from a date thinking, “Wow, we have all the same interests. He likes the same movies and music as I do — dream guy.” I’m going to throw it out there and say, he probably doesn’t really also love The Devil Wears Prada and listening to ’90s music non-stop. Sure, you two may have similar likes and dislikes, but I bet you’ll find out on date number three that he secretly hates Beyoncé. And if that’s the case, run for it, girl.
Age is just a number, right? A number that some people tend to lie about on a first date. Sadly, in our society, getting older isn’t always seen as a great thing. Women and men feel the pressure to look and act younger. Because of this, some people are afraid to let others know their exact age. I’m not saying to check your date’s ID, but if you think something is up, it’s probably their age.
Too Picture Perfect
“Sure, I get along with both of my parents.” “Yeah, I’m friends with all of my exes.” “I’ve totally never cheated.” Did I just order fish, because I smell something fishy. If everything sounds too perfect with your date, you may not be getting the whole story. Try and get a good sense of your gut feeling and go off of that. Sometimes things are too good to be true, and other times, you’ve hit the jackpot. It’s a gamble you’re taking.
Loving The Food
This is the least harmful of the lies. Most people have been there before. You’re on a date and you bite into that tasty looking chicken, and yuck, its got zero flavor and it’s too salty. Normally, you wouldn’t finish it and would stop at Taco Bell on your way home. However, since you don’t want to appear too high-maintenance, you’re going to eat that chicken like it’s your last meal on earth. You might even add in some pleasant commentary on the deliciousness of the meal, just to be nice.
Not every person on a date is an alcoholic. However, most people tend to downplay their drinking habits. Your date might say they drink “socially.” “Socially,” meaning they went out last weekend, drank too much, and ended up making some bad decisions. Since it’s common for people to minimize their drinking intake, you’ll have to be eyes wide open on the date. If he or she orders one too many drinks and/or gets wasted, you’ll have your answer.
Ever lied on a resume to make your job sound better? That’s exactly what’s happening on a first date. CEO probably means manager. And, manager probably means assistant. And, assistant probably means intern. And well, intern means unemployed….
"Let's Do This Again Sometime"
Sadly, you can never trust these five simple words anymore. Most people feel uncomfortable with the goodbye portion of a first date. Even if he or she has no intention of seeing you again, they don't know how to end it. The words come out of their mouths as if it's second nature. This sentence is either the promise of a future kiss, or the kiss of death. Only time will tell.
Image: Sergey Sus/Flickr, Gifs/Giphy (8)