Life

Woman Calls Out Cheating BF With His Xmas Gift

by Jessica Blankenship

I don't hate too many things (mostly peas and Dog the Bounty Hunter) but I don't care for people who are dishonest, especially when they're with dishonest people they are supposed to love, and especially especially when they're dishonest about things which could hurt those people. It's a bummer. So when someone cheats on their significant other, it gives me the sads. A thing that I love is when jilted lovers get all "you must not know 'bout me" on someone's cheating ass, like this woman who printed out evidence of her boyfriend's cheating and gave it to him as a Christmas gift. You are the gift to all of us, lady.

My theory about why people cheat is fairly simple: People who cheat need to get a goddamn hobby. I've ended more than one perfectly meh relationship because I genuinely didn't have time to give to it between all of the other demands on my time by dearly beloved things like work, friends, and eating alone in front of the TV. Sure, perhaps one days I'll end up dating someone who actually makes me want to prioritize them high enough to maintain their inclusion in my otherwise full life, but the point is the same: How the fuck are people finding time to go out and bone multiple people (and go through all the requisite trouble of hiding it) while also keeping up their primary relationship? Who has this kind of time?

Here's how I feel: Someone wanting to have sex with someone other than you isn't always the worst thing. Some would argue that it's a natural impulse, and that monogamy involves a terrible suppression of our basic human nature, and hey, that's why so many people are in open relationships. It's a totally valid thing to do! But do you know why those relationships work? Because people in them are honest and ask for what they need and talk openly with their partner about whether or not everyone's needs can be met in that relationship. So I guess that's the lesson when it comes to infidelity: You shouldn't break up with someone because they want to do sex on other people—you should break up with them because they're too much of a cowardly weirdo to not communicate with you honestly, and because they're clearly too lame and boring to have other things to occupy their time.

And once again: This woman rules all.

Images: Fotolia; NessLovnTrey247/Twitter(4)