Twitter has a unique way of putting everyone to the ultimate "are you a funny person?" test. It weeds out the "oh, haha, that's funny" friends from the "spit out your Diet Coke", gut-bustingly hilarious friends. Something about brevity being the soul of wit, right? Those 140 character restriction really shows what you're comedy skills are made of. And these tests usually start with trending hashtags like #WorstSexIn5Words. But this particular one comes with more pressure than its recent predecessors like #2014in5words, because I'm pretty sure the potential grossness of sex put Twitter at real risk for getting overwhelmed with TMI and shutting down entirely. What I'm saying is that the sexibilities are endless, so if you are going to join in this trend, you better be prepared to step up your game.
Of course, everybody has at least one sexytime horror story, so a lot of the best tweets are the ones that get a little too real. But other winners have clearly stretched the brain walls of their imaginations (or maybe they are just naturally perverse) to bring us some #WorstSexIn5Words stories that are so cringeworthy, you might never want to bump and/or grind again. (As predicted, the One Direction fandom accounts for most of these tweets, but I do not negotiate with terrorists and this time none of their tweets are making the cut).
Here were some of ones that rose above the Twitter tide:
Image: Universal Pictures