As we continue to celebrate this bliss of Friends on Netflix, I want to focus on the deep and powerful lessons and advice we can draw from the show. I mean, not to brag, but I binge-watched ten seasons of Friends before it was cool (i.e. when I was post-college unemployed and writing like twice a month). And it was during those jobless days that I got re-acquainted with the wacky wisdom of Phoebe Buffay, my truest soul sister and life mentor.
Boho oddball Phoebe seems like a strange source for guidance. But it was with her sunny disposition that Phoebe was able to hide a heavy dose of sass. Raised on the streets, everyone once in a while Phoebe would deliver a line that screamed, "I lived in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand, I don't need your first world problem bullshit." Despite her absent-minded, whimsical nature, Phoebe always knew what was up, and honestly? Anyone who gets to marry Paul Rudd is doing something right.
I learned a lot from her during the unemployment months, and as evidence, I'm sharing with you some solid Phoebe quotes to utilize in your every day life.
When Your Friends Try to Trap You in a Self-Deprecating Spiral
As women we tend to use empathy to lament with our friends. But honestly, what is this, Mean Girls? You are a golden goddess, be above all that nonsense, and while you're at it tell your gal pal that her hair doesn't look at all flat today.
For When You Find Your Friend's Boyfriend is Cheating On Her
Time to chin-up and be strong! Fun note: Phoebe's actually comforting Mike's current girlfriend in this gif, who he ended up leaving for Phoebe. Which was disarming news delivered from Phoebe. Phoebe Buffay: female ally.
When You Need an Insult, But Wish to Be Classy About It
Just because you want to be a bitch, doesn't mean you can't be a lady, too.
When You're Trying to Feign Knowledge During the Superbowl
How do you sports? Hell if I know, but if you scream enough at the TV screen you can probably fake it.
When You Want to Get Out of Doing Something
Honesty is the best policy.
When You Need an Alias at the Bar
Ew, some creep is asking you for your number? Break out this pseudonym.
Alternately, When a Cute Guy is Flirting With You
Oh, want some cute guy to get your number? Be smooth, just like Pheebs.
When You're the Only Single One at a Wedding/Birthday/Dinner Party
The only one of your friends without a significant other right now? Don't worry. Phoebe was the only friend not to formally date another friend, and sometimes that paves way for some bitterness.
When Your Mom Delivers Taylor Swift Gossip from Five Years Ago
No joke, this happened to me last week. My mom comes up to me and says, "Did you know that some rapper took her award and said Beyoncé should've won instead?" Jesus Christ, mom — reporting on Taylor Swift is my livelihood, are you really referencing a headline from 2009?
When Your Friend Has a Meaningless Update About Her Crush
Oh my god, he liked your Facebook status about how much you hate Mondays? You two are soul mates, obvs.
When You Want To Show Off Your Sexting Prowess
You'll have men falling at your feet.
Additionally, When You're Trying to Seal the Deal on a Date
Subtle and classy.
When Your Big Plans for the Day Are Eating, Sleeping, and Looking Lethargic
Honestly, your own mother runs around working a job, cooking dinner, and keeping up with all those Taylor Swift rumors — how could you two POSSIBLY be related when you have so much in common with Mittens?
When You and Your Brother Forgot to Do the Dishes and Your Mom is Pissed Off
When That One Chick in British Lit Class is Trying to Mooch off Your Notes
She's showed up to like three classes, and all of a sudden thinks you're besties because she let you borrow a pen once. No. That's not how this works.
When You're Trying to Nail that Job Interview with Your Humble Charms
Seriously, though? Despite her rough upbringing, Phoebe always believed in herself, and approached life with a healthy and rare dose of cheer and self-esteem. So when the going gets tough, just turn to Phoebe. She'll be there for you.
Images: NBC and Giphy (17)