There are a lot of misconceptions out there about the female orgasm, what with some people assuming women don’t have orgasms at all, and others believing that all women should be able to achieve orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Women who have had to work to climax (and that’s most of us) know that it’s a lot more complicated than many people think. For those ladies who’ve mastered the art of getting off: congratulations! That’s a lot! But did you know that there are ways to make your orgasms even better? There are! Go for the gold, reach for the stars, etc.!
Look, all orgasms are awesome — little ones, big ones, ones by yourself, ones with a partner, ones created orally, ones stimulated by toys ... you get the idea. Whatever you’re having is wonderful. But that doesn’t mean that women shouldn’t try to get the most bang for their ... well, bang, right? There are a number of simple adjustments you can make to your sex life that might make orgasms easier to achieve and more intense when you have them. If nothing else, trying out these methods is a great excuse to have some fun in the bedroom. Give these tricks a whirl to add a little extra zip to the Big O.
1. Do Kegels
Kegels are exercises that strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor, which support important organs like the bladder, vagina, and uterus. There are many benefits to doing Kegels, not least of which is that having strong vaginal muscles can lead to bigger, more intense orgasms. Kegels are easy to do on your own (find detailed instructions here), but if you want to spice things up a bit, there are also tools you can use to help. There’s even one that makes your Kegels into a video game. Because that’s what you’ve always dreamed of, right?
2. Get close — and then back off
As sex educator Dorian Solot said in an interview for Health, “The longer the arousal buildup, the bigger the explosion." Take time to create tension. When you’re getting close to orgasm, back off for a few minutes, and then build back up. You’ll get a bigger payoff in the end.
3. Breathe properly
Concentrate on how you’re breathing as you’re approaching orgasm. According to Beth Orenstein at Everyday Health, “Many people find that if they vary their breathing pattern from slow and deep to short and quick it adds to sexual arousal and can help trigger orgasm.”
4. Talk to your partner
Talk to your partner about what feels good to you. He or she will be able to get a better sense of what you want, and the talking itself will be a turn-on.
How can you tell your partner what you want if you don’t know exactly how your equipment works? Take lots of time to experiment on your own, with different tools (your fingers, toys, etc.) and in different situations (in bed, in the shower, and so on). Even have a go at it at different times of the day; you might discover that you’re more responsive in the morning than you are at night, or vice versa.
6. Limit your booze intake
Alcohol can certainly lower one’s sexual inhibitions, but it can also make it harder to achieve orgasm at all, and can decrease orgasm intensity when you do have one. If you’re trying to maximize your orgasm, stick to only a drink or two. Or better yet, have sex before you go out!
7. Have sex frequently
A 2014 study from the University of Albany found that, in a survey of heterosexual female college students in committed relationships, “Orgasm frequency was highly correlated ... with orgasm intensity.” So, potentially, the more you have sex, the better it will get. And the better it gets, the more you’ll want to have it. Seems like a pretty good system to me, to be honest.
8. Use toys and props
Take advantage of all the tools at your disposal. Try out different vibrators, props, and other toys to find the magic combination for you.
9. Do things that promote good circulation
Sexual arousal occurs through blood flow to the genitals, so it makes sense that having good circulation is key to having a strong orgasm. So if you’re having trouble motivating yourself to exercise, stretch, eat well, or quit smoking, just tell yourself it’ll all be worth it when your climaxes go through the roof.
10. Have sex with someone who makes you laugh
There are lots of reasons to date someone with a good sense of humor, but did you know that humor actually correlates with better sex? The same University of Albany study mentioned above found that a partner's sense of humor “predicted women's propensity to initiate sex, how often they had sex, and it enhanced their orgasm frequency in comparison with other partners.”
11. Experiment and practice, practice, practice
Everyone’s body is different, so no two people will have the exact same response to these methods. So give yourself lots of opportunities to experiment, play, and find out what works best for you. Keep in mind that it might take a few tries to master certain techniques, so keep practicing when you think you’re on the right track.
Images: Fotolia; Billy Wilson/Flickr; Giphy (6)