Anyone who has ever had the misfortune to be near me when I am near a baby knows that I am obsessed with them. I'd like to think the feeling between us is mutual. Perhaps because I have retained these chubby cheeks all my life and thus have a semi-permanent baby face, the babies think of I am one of them. While that's not (entirely) true, the fact remains that I am that annoying person who starts talking to your kid when you're carting a stroller in the Starbucks line even though you're in a rush. It's not really my fault that your adorable kid keeps attracting strange, new, high-pitched friends.
Because I am an intolerable baby-nerd menace to society, the universe has been forced to balance out my existence with legitimately cool parents, and bless all that is good and sane for that. Thanks to cool parents, we have some of the best pregnancy announcements the internet can buy, between this couple who parodied Wes Anderson and this couple whose pregnancy announcement made you snort milk out of your noise. Hell, one couple even got Paul Rudd involved in their announcement—THE ANT-MAN HIMSELF. There is no limit to what cool parents can do these days, as evidenced by these totally original, not at all annoying, champion pregnancy announcements:
1. Beyoncé at the 2012 VMAs
Yes, I am starting with Beyoncé, and no, I will not apologize. That mic drop was so tremendous that it impregnated a thousand other women across the globe.
2. This poor future dad who never found his beloved Vitamin Water
But I guess a kid is cool, too.
3. This couple who parodied "Blank Space"
I think it's safe to say, at this point, Taylor Swift has seen it all.
4. This couple who made a full-on sci-fi trailer
Always happy to welcome another future Trekkie into the human race.
5. This brother "promoting" his little brother to older brother status
Real talk: I don't even have to be able to understand this kid to cry about it.
6. This woman who surprised her sister with an engraved "Aunt" mug
Free stuff = the best way to announce any kind of news, ever.
7. This nerdy ultrasound photoshop
8. These humans who roped Vanilla Ice into their announcement
The cold never bothered them anyway.
9. This couple who announced it during a family game of charades
THIS IS THE THEATER KID DREAM RIGHT HERE.
10. This couple who snuck their ultrasound video into a compilation of family baby videos
If you ever thought you were excited about anything before, you were wrong. Because you were not part of this insane family that I want to adopt me, stat.
11. This happy little puppy
FUTURE BEST FRIENDS ALERT.
12. This Lucky magazine editor-in-chief's Instagram
Honestly, it's the tiny fruit that finished me.
13. The "Share a Coke" couple
It'll never get old, guys.
14. This crafty photo-taking couple
Normally I'd hate anyone who takes the word "cheese" in vain, but for them I will make an exception.
BONUS ROUND: The most horrible pregnancy announcement that is not a pregnancy announcement but will make you hurt your internal organs laughing:
Images: Emily Aronoff Teck/Facebook, YouTube