Celebrity seems like it would be pretty damn weird for just about everyone, but it must be a special kind of weird for Steve Buscemi. He sits in a place where his peers are people like Nic Cage: They're just going about their work living their lives but their very image has the power to intrigue the masses. Example: Fifty Shades Of Buscemi, which is — you guessed it — the Fifty Shades Of Grey trailer with Jamie Dornan taken out and Buscemi edited in. It's a wild ride, I gotta tell ya.
And hey, don't knock Buscemi: He does come off as smart, intense, and potentially intimidating, all those descriptors Dakota Johnson's Ana uses to describe Christian Grey. He even had some very relevant BDSM-type clips to sneak in there, as well as one pretty great shot of him swirling a giant dildo around. I hate to break it to hopefuls, but that's probably the most explicit male genitalia-related nudity any of us will be seeing in relation to Fifty Shades Of Grey .
Fifty Shades is, supposedly, a "sensual drama," though — and who better to take us on this journey than Buscemi? Watch this re-cut trailer and put yourself in Ana's shoes. Embrace the journey, or something. This is what the Internet was made for.