Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney are perhaps the longest-running couple currently on Vanderpump Rules, but that doesn’t mean that their relationship hasn’t been fraught with peril. During the past three seasons, we’ve seen Katie and Tom Schwartz not break up while being, well, pretty awful to one another. Katie has allegedly “motorboated” the crotch of a man who wasn’t Schwartz (a sentence that even I can’t believe I’m writing) and tried to push Schwartz into marrying her (girl, why?). Not to be outdone, Schwartz has drunkenly made out with a bevy of women (all occurring on “boys’ trips” with pals Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval) and lied about it; threw a drink in Katie’s face at ex-friend Stassi’s birthday party; blew two chances of getting a real-life job when Katie set him up with gigs at SUR and PUMP; and pushed aside marriage talks but appeased Katie by bringing home a puppy that he never asked if she wanted. Schwartz has also never defended his ladylove to his best friend, Jax, who continuously says awful things about her and rakes her over the coals to anyone who will listen. Sounds awfully pleasant, doesn’t it?
The Vanderpump fans, of course, have plenty to say about the Katie-n-Schwartz saga, mostly that Katie should dump the zero and get with a hero.
Editing or not (and I
lean toward not, because you can only edit a person so much), Schwartz comes off on the show as a bumbling,
immature dude who doesn’t know a good thing if it hits him in his chiseled
face. He’s good at modeling, and that’s about it. Dude can’t even sling a
drink. But, as we all know, love is completely blind (especially when you
refuse to see the signs), and instead of breaking up, I’ve used my sleuth
skills to determine that Katie and Schwartz are probably (finally) engaged.
How, you ask? Let me tell you.
There’s a ring on her finger!
Schwartz and Katie appeared on Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live on February 2, and Katie snapped this shot beforehand:
There appear to be two rings on her left ring finger, one of
which is pushed to the side and looks to boast a rock of some sort. The other
resembles just a band. Interesting, right? (Also, how major does Katie look here? Those extensions are doing you right, girl.)
But wait, there’s more: The ring on her right ring finger is usually worn on her left hand, as we can see in this shot from Schwartz’ Instagram, also from their trip to New York. Also, why the champagne? Celebrating, are we?
Obviously, for production purposes, the two can’t announce
that they’re engaged until (probably) after the reunion (which was filmed on
February 6, for those of you asking). That right-hand ring could just be a
placeholder for her good ol’ engagement ring, since no news of their relationship
should be spoiled before the reunion airs.
Speaking of their Watch
What Happens Live appearance, when confronted by a few callers about the
status of their relationship, Katie said she’s “not 15” and “it’s not the end
of the world if her boyfriend drunkenly makes out with someone.” Yeesh,
defensive much, Katie? Though I, too, would be defensive if anonymous callers
were questioning the man I had just decided to marry.