10 Reasons Why Getting A Good Night's Sleep Is Impossible When You Own A Cat, Because They're Basically Huge Jerks
Nobody should mess with a person’s sleep. And even though the National Sleep Foundation recommends seven to nine hours of shut-eye for adults between the ages of 18 and 64, my cat most certainly did not get the memo. I think he actually gives himself bonus points for every minute he keeps me up at night. Don’t get me wrong, he’s super snuggly and the best little spoon ever, but when he decides he wants food at 3 a.m., he becomes PURE EVIL. He will do anything to wake me up, and there’s only so long I can resist giving in because, well, he is relentless.
Non-cat owners might suggest locking a pesky feline outside your bedroom for the night, but they clearly don’t know how relentless cats are. Meowing outside the door is actually worse. Though annoying, this determination is sort of admirable — when cats want something, they will meow, paw, and claw until they get it. And if you own a cat, you know what I’m talking about. We love our purring children, but they’re sleep-sabotaging jerks. It’s only when your alarm goes off in the morning and it’s time to get ready for work that they decide to cuddle and sleep soundly. So if your cat has ever ruined your sleep using any of the tactics on this list, you’re not alone.
A classic move. Of course, if this doesn't work, your cat will resort to dirtier tricks, such as...
2. Pawing and prodding you
Mine does this constantly, no matter how much I toss, turn, or brush him away. His next step? Nipping my arm instead.
3. Clawing at things
Once your cat monster realizes it can't wake you directly, it'll start creating chaos in the room. Your door frame makes a really fun scratching post.
4. Knocking objects over
5. Playing with toys... or your feet
What, 4 a.m. isn't an appropriate play time?
6. Purring obnoxiously loud
Purring should be a sweet thing, but this is deliberately loud. It sounds like a truck rumbling in your ear, and it's the worst.
7. Sitting on top of you
Better yet, on your face.
8. Hogging the bed
Well at least they're sleeping, but now you can't get into a comfortable position.
9. Grooming you
No need to take a morning shower when you've got cat saliva as shampoo.
10. Being too snuggly
OK, so this one is actually adorable. All is forgiven.