Justin Bieber has a lot of new projects making headlines, from his newest single, "Heartbreaker," to his second documentary, Believe 3D, but his biggest and most exciting project only broke today: his mustache. Yes, Justin Bieber's Believe 3D sneak preview debuted the live-action version of Bieber's mustache, and it is really something special. Not only is it the source of both pride and serious irony, but it actually belongs on Justin Bieber. And I love it. I'll repeat that: I love Justin Bieber's mustache. But perhaps not for the reasons you might think.
I mean, let's be real for a second: You never see a great-looking guy and think, "Wow, if he had a mustache, he would be so much hotter." Mustaches are the trademark of perverts, pedophiles, hipsters, and those unwise enough to think the Fu Manchu look will make them look sophisticated. Mustaches are a mistake that happens on people's faces, and they're only really excusable once they've been shaved off or refashioned into a goatee. I understand that they're a viable form of self-expression for adolescent boys looking to show how manly and full of hormones they are, but, unless they're worn correctly, they're gross and the vast majority of women find them creepy and unsettling. So, of course, the mighty 'stache makes perfect sense on Bieber's fresh and unlined face.
I simply mustache why a boy whose career is built on selling his preternaturally young looks to an even younger audience would ever be allowed to wear something so atrocious on his face. Kind of felt like the parachute pants and wife beaters were sufficient on the atrocious outerwear front. But ah well, boys will be boys, hanging with Usher, growing mustaches, creating subsequent Twitter trends about 'staches, and generally being Bieber. What a riot.