Entertainment

Could He Beat Kanye In A Baby-Saving Contest?

by Arielle Dachille

In the event that John Mayer and Kanye West happen to both risk their lives to rescue a defenseless creature from certain doom, who would we be talking about more? Well, according to John Mayer, Kanye West would get more attention for saving babies from a burning building. Furthermore, he's totally cool with it, guys. He SWEARS.

In an MSNBC interview with Ronan Farrow, Mayer covered a number of topics, from his battle against his own ego-mania, to how certain stars command more media attention. Mayer commended Taylor Swift for taking on Spotify as a leading artist with a voice that people listen to. He followed this idea up by saying that "there's like four people who get all the press," and he seems to believe he isn't one of them. When Farrow asks the singer-songwriter if this bothers him, Mayer assures him that it doesn't and provides us with a creative example to prove just how fine he is:

Look, if I save a baby from a burning building and Kanye saves a baby from a burning building, there's more Google news hits on Kanye. I'm fine with it.

And the Oscar goes to John Mayer for his riveting performance of "dude who doesn't want the glory."

Now that you have the image of John Mayer and Kanye West both rescuing babies from burning buildings in your mind, let's unpack this a little. Let's compare these famous pop men in a few crucial categories to see who would save MORE babies from that burning building. It's the ultimate showdown between ego-maniacs trying to redeem themselves.

Experience With Babies

Mayer may be a little green when it comes to baby-handling. After all, he doesn't have any of his own. He did, however, meet Elmo that one time.

Unfortunately for Mayer, West has his own child and will probably be better with handling babies. It's just the way it is.

Agility

With the advantage of being long and lanky at 6'3", you may guess that Mayer would be able to dodge falling beams in the burning house. So maybe he would be the more agile one?

Yeezy, on the other hand, has a lower center of gravity at 5'8", which may make him a bit quicker. Also, he tends to be a bit more mobile in his performances. All that weird dancing is good training!

Vision

Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Provided that they stay on his face during his quest, Mayer's glasses would help him locate more babies in the burning building.

Yeezy prefers eyewear that obscures his vision, so he may be at a disadvantage in this department.

Comfort With Actual Fire

John Mayer has a song called "I'm on Fire," which appears to be less about literal fire and more about the fire in his loins.

Just judging from the visual effects in his performances, West is a bit of a pyromaniac. The guy seems to enjoy a good blow torch.

Looking at all the data, it seems like West has the advantage in most of these categories. Sorry, John, but ultimately, Yeezy would save more babies. But from what I can tell, you won't get too down on yourself about it.

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